What Does Your Coffee Say About You?
Black coffee:
You're an old school purist who keeps things simple. You can be quiet and moody, abrupt and dismissive, set in your ways and resistant to change. You can happily spend all day in the back far corner of Starbucks drinking free refills and muttering obscenities about customers who order fancy drinks. You have a twenty-year-old pair of work boots and an older wool lined jean jacket. You have a complete tool kit, a battery powered drill and a chain saw. You never learned the metric system, don't give a shit and think it is a sissy way to measure. You like to read magazines and have the latest Bass Pro Monthly on the toilet tank lid.
Latte:
You're a comfort seeker, honest and generous with your time. You go out of your way to help people. You don't always take good care of yourself and get easily overextended. You give money to the 'will work for food' guy on the corner then don't have enough for your coffee. You often volunteer for neighborhood watch meeting and clean-ups. You cried when you heard Hostess was going out of business. You love a good conversation but do it on-line because lots of people have 'Cooties.' You are as complex as the coffee you drink. You use non fat milk because of the sugar content in whole. You still eat Frosted Flakes cereal because you met Tony the Tiger when you were a kid.
Frozen/blended drinks:
You try new things and are a trend setter. You're child like, spontaneous and imaginative. You fall for quick fixes, can be reckless and don't always make healthy choices. You were the first person in you social circle to wear underpants on your head in public. You are currently in line for tickets to a Rolling Stones show. Last week you patched a leak with duct tape. You are very good at making shadow puppets and balloon animals. You have a fear of clowns, mimes and women named Gertrude. You have a secret desire to bathe in a tub filled with fried chicken and Hellman's mayo.
Decaf, Soy, or Chai:
You like being in control and can be obsessive. You're aware of your health. You over focus on the rules and tend to be sensitive. You worry. You always make your partner choose the movie then bitch about it. You would rather drive than take a bus. You shop at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's and use canvas totes. You always drive slightly under the speed limit, make complete stops and give pedestrians the right of way. You own a juicer, eat Brussels sprouts and always order vinaigrette dressing. You get very upset if a driver honks his horn and have never given anyone The Finger, ever.
Instant Coffee:
You're traditional, laid back, take life as it comes, put things off and are a poor planner. Your truck needs brakes and has for awhile. The mobile home has a slight right tilt but it's OK, you're left handed. You use old holey socks as hand puppets, wear your hat backwards and owe the I.R.S. lots of money. You like dogs over cats, birds over fish, and have a turtle named Boris.
Tea:
You love travel and bargains but you hate to barter. You are systematic and methodical. You like sports, play a few, and take care of yourself. You tend to hang on to things much too long. You're overly obsessed with the proper formula for dunking cookies in your drink. You have too many sweaters and store them in vacuum bags. Your husband once bought you bridge lessons for an actual bridge. You enjoy BBC programs but didn't watch Benny Hill.
No-fat, no-whip, white chocolate machiatto:
You are multi layered, complex and a health nut. You have a high colonic the first Tuesday of every month with 31 days. You have a standing massage appointment at the neighborhood spa. You get your nails done twice each month and always change the color. You tip your hair person too much. You like raw carrots and put peanut butter on apples and celery.
Bottled frappucino:
You're basically immature. You love to say, "pull my finger" and fart. You have no problem eating Taco Bell at midnight. You are the designated pizza order-er and get anchovies even though no one else likes them. You have seen "Pretty Woman" thirty times and yell "STUPID IDIOT" every time Richard Gear goes back for the hooker. You still use a VCR and know the cassette 8 track audio will make a comeback. You think E-tablets are a waste and smart phones too difficult. You once got a Q-tip stuck so far up your ear you went to the E.R. Most of your friends like Ultimate Fighting but you still watch WWF. You watch X-games for the accidents.
I drink coffee made from K-cups.
Obviously I don't concern myself with money because this stuff is almost as expensive as that coffee made from animal crap. Every day I agonize over the excessive waste I'm putting in a land fill but I'm lazy and this is so easy.
partial repost from 4-4-13
No comments:
Post a Comment