The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round

And it's just in time for the holiday.

A Frenchman has developed a range of pills aimed at making people’s flatulence smell sweeter - of chocolate or of roses - which he says will make the perfect Christmas present.

The 65-year-old artist and inventor says his pills are aimed at easing indigestion and are made of 100 percent natural ingredients such as fennel, seaweed and blueberries.

The pills are sold on the Internet under the Lutin Malin (Crafty Imp) website pilulepet.com and have been approved by health authorities, according to Christian Poincheval, who is based in the village of Gesvres in western France.

For this year’s festive season he has added a new product to the range which he has titled “The Father Christmas fart pill that gives your farts the scent of chocolate”.

They retail at €9.99 ($12.50) for a jar of 60 and bring benefits such as “the reduction of gas and bloating.”

Other products listed on the site, which features pictures of the bearded Mr. Poincheval posing as an imp, include rose-perfumed fart pills and tablets to reduce the pong of canine flatulence.

Mr. Poincheval said he came up with the idea for the pills one evening when he was enjoying a hearty meal with some friends.

“Our farts were so smelly we were nearly suffocated. Something had to be done,” he said.

So he began researching natural ingredients that would reduce flatulence and after months of experimentation came up with the recipe for his pills.

He has been selling the pills since 2006 and says he sells several hundred a month.

“I have all sorts of customers. Some buy them because they have problems with flatulence and some buy them as a joke to send to their friends. Christmas always see a surge in sales.”

Here is some advice from a professional.

As a doctor, people often ask me ‘Is it possible to control your farting?’  

Healthy men (and women) of all ages pass wind between 14 and 25 times a day.

So, how does the wind get there? 

Every time we swallow, we gulp in air too. Fizzy drinks compound this. Bicarbonate in the saliva and pancreatic juices react with stomach acid to produce carbon dioxide and many of our gut bacteria react with whatever’s passing through to produce methane, hydrogen and more C02. All of these cause wind, but it’s the tiny amounts of sulphur containing gases that make it smell.

In socially embarrassing situations, Midnight Mass or the afternoon movie, it is possible for some of the wind to be absorbed through the gut wall, into the bloodstream and out via the lungs. Indeed, one study found that people who hold their wind in exhale more hydrogen.

This may someday lead to further breakthroughs in bio-fuel.

Hydrogen fuel cells are being looked into as a way to provide power and research is being conducted on hydrogen as a possible major future fuel. 

For instance it can be converted to and from electricity from bio-fuels, from and into natural gas and diesel fuel, theoretically with no emissions of either CO2 or toxic chemicals.

Farting and belching in the absence of other symptoms are entirely healthy. 

The Dutch Liver Foundation once launched a publicity campaign encouraging people to break wind fifteen times a day.....something Fitbit may want to add to its ever increasing list of measurements.

Gas producing foods include beans, peas, broccoli, cauliflower, sprouts, Jerusalem artichokes, root vegetables, ramsons, prunes, apples and fruit juice (which is heavy in fructose).

So we need a lot of bean and broccoli eating, fizzy drinking people, who can consistently absorb their intestinal gas and exhale into containers to fuel the future. Then we can deal with the Dutch. 

Diets don't always work and running from the police is not great exercise.

A man who robbed four Subway restaurants in four days with a gun claims he did it because he was mad the "Jared Diet" didn't work for him.

Zachary Torrance, 18, was arrested after someone saw surveillance videos and recognized Torrance from having witnessed him purchase a gun holster at a Walmart.

"He stated in the course of his interview he had tried the 'Jared Diet' and it hadn't worked for him like he thought it should have. He was trying to get his money back."

He didn't have a pocket.

Police say a Florida homeless man was arrested Thursday for trying to steal a chainsaw by stuffing it under his shirt.

Anthony Brian Ballard is said to have entered a lawn maintenance store and asked to break a dollar into change. He then placed a chainsaw under his shirt and left the store without paying.

After fleeing on a bicycle, Ballard was eventually found by an employee from the business, who tracked the 28-year-old man down and held him until police arrived. 

The chainsaw was recovered in a vacant lot nearby.

Ballard was booked into the St. Lucie County Jail. According to investigators, the bicycle used for the getaway was also stolen.

His parents got this right.

An Australian man who "surfed" on a dead whale being eaten by sharks in a video filmed off the coast of Western Australia said his mother called him "an idiot."

Harrison Williams, 26, said he was boating with friends off the coast of Western Australia during the weekend when they discovered the whale carcass floating in the water.

"Out on the boat with the boys, and one of my mates thought it'd be pretty funny if I surfed the whale, so I just did it." He said the sharks were "too busy chomping on the whale" to pay attention to him.

Williams said his parents were not impressed with his stunt.

"Mum thinks I'm an idiot, Dad's not too proud either," he said.

Williams said he understands their concern and feels "pretty grateful to still be alive."

Finally, a urinal designed for vampires.

Motion sensor lights are to be installed around the Dutch Royal Palace to prevent people from urinating on the building when a construction fence comes down.

The National Real Estate Company said the construction fence, which was erected to stop urination on the Amsterdam palace's facade following renovations is due to come down, leading them to seek alternative methods of dissuading members of the public from urinating on the building.

The company and the city of Amsterdam said further measures may include installing a urinal that remains underground during the day and rises at night to offer an alternative for passersby who need to relieve themselves. 

Aside from losing his job he may be headed to divorce court.

An Egyptian bus driver who tried to fool a drug test by using his wife's urine ended up being told that he's pregnant.

Public Transportation Authority officials said they became suspicious when the male driver's urine test detected a pregnancy and they confronted the man and asked him to verify the sample was his own urine.

The man confirmed ownership of the sample, leading officials to respond, "Congratulations, you're pregnant."

The driver admitted the urine came from his wife and said he was not aware she was two months pregnant.

Now I need to turn the cat poop into something positive.

The sewage company behind Britain's first poo-powered Bio-Bus said the vehicle can run up to 186 miles on one tank of fuel from human and food waste.

GENeco, a subsidiary of Wessex Water, said the fuel for the 40-seat Bio-Bus is produced at the Bristol sewage treatment works, where human waste and food unfit for consumption are put through a process to create biomethane.

Mohammed Saddiq, general manager of GENeco, said the company is also producing biomethane for the country's natural gas network.

"Through treating sewage and food that's unfit for human consumption we're able to produce enough biomethane to provide a significant supply of gas to the national gas network that's capable of powering almost 8,500 homes as well as fueling the Bio-Bus."

It takes the annual waste from about five people to create one tank of biomethane for the bus, officials said.

Yes, there is hope for us all, or, one man's waste is another man's treasure.