Never Again.....

I'm feeling the pressure this morning. Write the blog and clean the kitchen. Empty the recycle and trash receptacles (much nicer word than cans) and take out the garbage totes. I also need to watch two ballgames. I don't know how I'll get through all this.

Wanda and I had a little excitement yesterday. Well, not really excitement but an adventure. A frustrating, difficult adventure. I'll begin at the beginning.

Monday, October 7, 2013.

Text received 12:50 p.m. From: Wanda wife (Rebecca suggested I list Wanda in my phone as Wanda wife, Wanda spouse, or Wanda call her if you find me unconscious and need to notify someone) "Went to get gas, someone told me my headlight was out, so I went and got one....true story."

Text sent 12:51 p.m. To: Wanda wife "RAV OK Now?"

Text received 12:55 p.m. From: Wanda wife "We have to put it in tonight...he said NOT to touch the bulb with your fingers, use a tissue or a glove."

Text sent 12:56 p.m. To: Wanda wife "OK...if we can't we'll take it to Big O."

I checked the "no touching of the bulb."

From wiki.answers.com

"Because if you touch it, you may get dirt or oils from your skin on the bulb. Since halogen bulbs operate at a much higher temperature
than conventional bulbs, the contaminates may cause the bulb to break. If you do touch the bulb, clean it with an alcohol swab before installing it."

No sweat, I can do this. I was a nurse. I know all about gloves and alcohol swabs. Hell, I used to insert catheter tubes in small dark places. Surely I can change a light bulb. 

I called Big O.

I'm a mechanical moron, especially when it comes to cars. I have a hard enough time fixing things in the house, and it doesn't move. When I work on a car I will burn myself, bleed, or both. I have a fifty-fifty chance of success, maybe lower, a lot lower.

Our son-in-law Eric owns a Big O and our grandson Nick works there. They are good with cars. It seemed like a no brainer. And besides, Monday Night Football was on at 5:20.

Wanda finished early and was due home around 5 p.m. Dinner would be ready shortly after (I was cooking, just so you know). I further investigated this light thing (the power of the Internet) and it certainly looked simple. I decided to give it a whirl. We would eat, do the dishes and install a headlight, easy peasy.

After dinner I asked Wanda to take a look at the fix-it web site. Before she did she said, "Do you think there is something in the owners manual about this?" "No, I doubt it. They don't want you doing anything yourself when a Toyota dealer is around." WHEN AM I GOING TO LEARN? Tomorrow is our 24th anniversary. I should know by now. I've said it often enough, WANDA'S ALWAYS RIGHT.

I took another look at the six part how to change a bulb website. Laden with gloves and clean rags I was ready. Just as I got to the front door I heard, "How do you get this damn hood up?" This was not the start I was hoping for. 

I approached the RAV4 with the same trepidation and fear I have when I need to put the cat in the carrier. I found the hood latch and got it open. Now my problem was how to keep it that way. I knew there was a stick of some sort, but where? After a minute or two I found it and propped the hood up. On to part two, removing the old bulb. By now I'd forgotten how, so back inside to check the web site I went.

The instructions were simple, or so it seemed. Reach in, twist the bulb a quarter turn counterclockwise and remove. This I was able to do. The next step was remove the old bulb from the power connector (the thing the bulb clicks in to). Now this may seem easy but there are four or five things IN THE WAY. I can't get both my hands in there. Am I supposed to remove part of the engine? Once more it was back in the house to check the instructions.

Once again thinking I can do this, I went out to the car. I strained getting both hands in the tiny area. Wanda is getting antsy and trying to help. "Would it be easier if I got a hand in there?" "No, there isn't enough room for a Popsicle stick let alone another hand." I continued to press, pull, push and squeeze until the old bulb came out. 

"Wow, I did it, I have no idea how, but I did it." Now it was time to insert the new bulb. The print on the replacement box was too small to see and the owners manual no help. I went back in the house to check the web site, again.

After several frustrating minutes the new bulb would not plug-in. We put our heads together and noticed the new bulb was a little different than the old bulb. Shit, they gave Wanda the wrong replacement. Now about an hour into the project the sun is starting to set. I don't have my hands full enough, it's time to bring out the flashlights.

Wanda went to the local auto parts store. I went in to watch the game. Hey, I offered to go with her. This way we didn't need to close up the house. While I was waiting I checked the web site, again.

Twenty minutes later she was back. "Yep, the first place gave me the wrong bulb all right." Now we were OK. Dealing with a hot engine I managed to snap this bulb in the power connector. Then I set it in the headlight opening, twisted and locked it in. "OK, all set," I said to Wanda. "Start the car and turn on the headlights" and she did.

WE REPLACED THE WRONG LIGHT. 

All that and we replaced the wrong light. We removed a perfectly good high-beam and replaced it. This was the reason the first bulb didn't fit. I was trying to put a low-beam in a high-beam connector.

I didn't check before I started working on the car. I said, "Is this the bulb?" And in fairness to Wanda, the high-beam is so dominant it LOOKS like it should be main headlight.

Remember when I said I was a mechanical moron? What kind of a dumb-ass doesn't check before doing something like this? What to do now? It's dark when Wanda leaves for work. She should have both headlights. We had the original bulb, the wrong one but not really. I did it once, I could do it again. 

Over the next thirty minutes I struggled and strained. I got grease all over my forearm. Twice I burned myself on this motor thing that had a hand print with an X through it and a THIS IS HOT sign. And I bent my left thumbnail so far back it was bleeding. But through all this I managed to get the low-beam headlight AND the high-beam headlight replaced.

Now we needed to fish the first good bulb out of the garbage.

In closing, Yesterday the Oakland A's beat Detroit to go 2-1 in the best of five series. The score was Oakland 6 Detroit 3. The game ended at 1:44 p.m.

Text received 1:45 p.m. From: Wanda wife "Sorry....well not really, OK I feel bad for u...kinda. No I do. Hahaha

And I was still nice enough to replace the bulb. 

I can put tubes in orifices all day. From this point on, someone else can deal with the car.