What childhood memories do you have about your father? My dad was a barber and I remember him cutting men's ear and nose hair. That is a pretty picture if I do say so myself.
My grandfather, also a barber, lived with us when I was very young. I only have two very vivid memories of him. The first one is pretty frightening. I saw him naked. I guess it could have been worse, it could have been my grandmother. The other memory is a little vague but I do remember holding a box of candy while my diabetic grandfather chased me around a living room chair yelling, "zhi-vot-naye" which is Russian for animal.
Grandpa Jack used to say this about children, "You should line them all up against the wall and shoot them with machine gun bullets." In Russian it sounds much nicer.
I studied anatomy and physiology in school but I have no idea why men lose head hair and grow it elsewhere. I'm not at that point yet but I have noticed my ears are getting bigger. Wanda says it's not that the ears are enlarged it's my head that's getting smaller. Either way, ears are bigger but my hearing is worse. It must be all that hair making it's way up through my ear canals.
Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not complaining. Getting old(er) is much easier for men. When our head hair thins we can shave it off. When hair grows in odd places we can leave it alone and maybe cultivate an interesting mustache. We don't need to concern ourselves with things that droop and we don't need make-up.
On occasion I receive an e mail that I think is worth sharing here on the blog.
This is titled "Adult Truths"
1. Part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
3. How the Hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
4. MapQuest really needs to start their directions with #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
5. Bad decisions make good stories.
6. You never know when it might strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
7. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer if they call.
8. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with alcohol than K.
9. How many times is it appropriate to say "WHAT?" before you just smile and nod because you still didn't hear or understand what they said?
10. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize their brain was important.
Now, I included the last entry with mixed feelings. Truth be told, I am just a little tired of all these "men think with their privates" jokes. Sure, at time a guys "johnson" may get him in trouble but we have brains too. It's not our fault if we have a finite amount of oxygenated blood that can't be in two places at once. So, please, give us a little more credit.
Or, maybe not.
Firearms sales are surging in the wake of the Colorado movie massacre as buyers express fears about both personal safety and lawmakers who are using the shooting to seek new weapons restrictions.
In Colorado, the site of Friday's shooting that killed 12 and injured dozens of others, gun sales jumped in the three days that followed. The state approved background checks for 2,887 people who wanted to purchase a firearm — 25 percent more than the average Friday to Sunday period in 2012 and 43 percent more than the same interval the week prior.
The owner of Gunners Den in suburban Arvada, Colo., said requests for concealed-weapon training certification "are off the hook." His four-hour course in gun safety, required for certification for a concealed-weapons permit in Colorado, has drawn double the interest since Friday.
"What they're saying is: They want to have a chance. They want to have the ability to protect themselves and their families if they are in a situation like what happened in the movie theater."
Seattle's home county, King, saw nearly twice as many requests for concealed pistol licenses than the same time frame a year ago. Connecticut processed 38 percent more gun-related records over the past several days compared with the same period two months prior. Florida recorded 2,386 background checks on Friday, up 14 percent from the week before. Oregon checks on Friday and Saturday were up 11 percent over the month past. Four days of checks in California were up 10 percent month-to-month.
During the past decade, June and July have consistently been the slowest months for gun sales, according to FBI data.
A Georgia gun dealer found that his sales on Saturday were up 300 percent from the same day a year ago — making it one of the best Saturdays his business has ever had. He said customers are often afraid when there's a gun-related tragedy that some lawmakers might try and push through an anti-gun agenda.
Prohibition was the worst legislation in this country, ever. Banning the sale and consumption of alcohol didn't accomplish a thing. Lawmakers thought people would stop drinking and because of forced sobriety would be better citizens. Drunkards would sober up and stop spending the rent money on booze. "Mean" drinkers would develop sunny dispositions and treat their wives and kids much better. Being sober meant being responsible and going to work every day. Bull, people didn't change. This was an effort in futility.
What did happen, what did work, what exploded in this country was crime.
I doubt firearms will ever be banned like alcohol was. History has shown that if something is taken away, or forbidden, it becomes more desirable. Look at what's happening because some people think, or fear, it may happen.
I don't know about you? I would feel less secure and safe if half the people watching a movie with me were armed.
The only thing I want to worry about is the amount of butter and salt on my popcorn.
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