Never Stop Learning...Never Stop Dreaming

I'm getting a late start this morning. 

I'm only on my second cup of coffee. 

I just called a friend to say hello and wish him a happy belated 72nd birthday. I thought about doing it yesterday. It would have been his actual birthday, not his belated, but I didn't know what to say. 

Hi, Happy Birthday you're alive didn't seem like the greatest Hallmark greeting.

Sunday morning I had a short discussion with 19-year-old Grandson Nicholas. Actually a discussion is generally an exchange of ideas to reach a possible conclusion so I'm sorry to say this was me pontificating on the most important aspect of life.

You will have a lot of birthdays so think about what you want to do with them now.

Sage advice from grandpa.

And here it is another Take-out-the-Totters Tuesday and the neighbor across the street already has his cans out. I call them cans because they all once were.

It's a really good thing they had metal garbage cans back in the 1940's for if not, what would Sonny hit Carlo over the head with in The Godfather?

The neighbor is making me look bad I should go tend to my cans. Wow, what a productive day.

The San Francisco Zoo is bringing Valentine's Day cheer to scorned ex-lovers by allowing them to adopt cockroaches and scorpions in the names of their exes.

"This Valentine's Day, if you care enough to send the very best, you'll choose our charming Madagascar Hissing Cockroach package," the zoo said on its website.

The zoo suggested the adoption package for the hissing cockroach, which grows to a size of 2-4 inches long and is believed to be the only hissing insect, is the perfect way to show "your favorite ex" that you have "moved on" with your life.

The zoo also suggested jilted lovers consider adopting a giant hairy scorpion in the name of a "low-life ex."

"So the latest affair didn't work out and given your ex's record-breaking ability to move on, you suspect foul play. Well, nothing soothes the sting like the adoption of a giant hairy scorpion in honor of your former beloved. It's no surprise; these invertebrates are aggressive, active, and alarmingly nocturnal.

"Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or 'caves.' Also just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pinchers and stings the prey. After the prey is immobilized, the scorpion tears the carcass apart with its pinchers and begins feeding.

"Your Adopt-a-Giant Hairy Scorpion donation will be used to support these mysterious invertebrates and further the San Francisco Zoological Society's mission to connect people to wildlife, inspire caring for nature, and advance conservation action. We can't make any promises, but urban legend says that the gift of a scorpion adoption serves as permanent protection against future romantic stings. Let the healing begin."

For those whose romantic lives have yet to go horribly wrong, the zoo is offering adoption packages for cuter animals including snow leopards, penguins and lemurs.

The other day Wanda and I were talking about spending time and energy finding ways and means to 'work' the system rather then taking responsibility for your actions and accepting the consequences.

So to Kentucky State Sen. Brandon Smith I say.

"Screw you and the horse you rode in on."

"Go back and live like its 1891."

Kentucky State Sen. Brandon Smith wants his driving under the influence charge dismissed under a 19th-century law that prevents lawmakers from being arrested during legislative sessions.

Smith was arrested earlier this month on the first day of the state's legislative session. Officers said he was speeding and his breath smelled of alcohol.

Smith's lawyer filed a request that the case be dropped under a law in Section 43 in the Kentucky constitution. The section was added in 1891.

It reads:

"The members of the General Assembly shall, in all cases except treason, felony, breach or surety of the peace, be privileged from arrest during their attendance on the sessions of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any speech or debate in either House they shall not be questioned in any other place."

The judge agreed to consider the motion and delayed the case.

Assistant Franklin County, Ky., Attorney David Garnett said it is "an interesting argument."

"My preliminary impression is that the 1891 constitution did not intend to give legislators blanket immunity for any act committed during the legislative session."

A German judge ruled a tenant can't be held responsible for floor damage resulting from urinating while in the standing position.

Dusseldorf Judge Stefan Hank sided with the tenant, whose lawsuit said the landlord refused to return $2,100 of his $3,300 deposit, alleging the resident's urine had damaged the marble floor around the toilet.

Hank said the arguments from the landlord and a "technical expert" who confirmed urine was responsible for the marble tile damage were "credible and understandable," but not enough to sway his opinion.

"Despite the increasing domestication of men in this regard, urinating while standing up is still widespread," the judge wrote in his ruling.

Hank said the landlord should have warned the tenant of the floor's "sensitivity" to urine droplets.

"Anyone who still practices this formerly dominant custom has to expect occasional clashes with (especially female) flatmates. But they don't have to worry about corrosion to the marble floor," Hank wrote.

There has been a growing movement in Germany to convert "Stehpinkler," men who stand while urinating, into tidier "Sitzpinkler," men who sit to pee. Opponents of the movement sometimes use "Sitzpinkler" as a derogatory term to insult a man's masculinity.

I must admit I've often given thought to using the "Sitzpinkler" method especially at night but I do not want to compromise my masculinity. A glow in the dark toilet seat may be a great investment.

I'm beginning to think you're wasting time reading the blog. All I have to share is my strange news and views. You could be spending time learning how to make space heaters using tea candles and flower pots.