Real Books....They're Not Just for People.

I made coffee, turned on the computer and got ready to work; it was 7:10 a.m.

One hour and fifteen minutes later I was still looking at a blank page. 

Sometimes it's like that. 

An idea comes and goes without so much as a minute spent thinking more about it and other times paragraphs are written and erased, or in this case I suppose deleted would be more appropriate.

I wish I had a delete key for my brain. I spare you some of the more provocative and if I may add, at times disgusting news items I see and read but they will ever be embedded in the confines of my consciousness.

So I finally get an inspiration, which is quite coincidental considering I work on a Dell Inspiron. My fingers begin to fly across the keyboard forming words on the screen at a furious (for me) rate and my computer crashed.

Black screen, fan off, sound of silence, shut down...death. 

Now I'm screwed. 

I don't write much on paper. Over the years I've learned most of the times I can't read what I put on there so I just don't bother. I do take notes on a simple thought or idea. 

I always have a notebook beside me so I wrote 8:25 CRASH.

I can't do a thing except stare at this computer screen and wait.

Five minutes later I was back on line, up and running, ready to roll.

Once again I kicked my brain in gear and the computer did it again. Only this time it had the audacity to flash me a warning about updating and how I should not shut it off.

"I didn't shut you off you stupid frustrating piece of crap."

Apparently my computer has become the mechanical caricature of the blond bimbo who can't walk (I assume she is texting) and chew gum at the same time.

There are so many dedicated people in the world. They are committed to excellence, they want to make a mark on the world. They are driven by a need to succeed. They work tirelessly perfecting their craft or pursuing their goals.

I feel like a quitter when I can't get through a Kindle book.

I miss books, real books.

I miss going to the bookstore, both new and used. 

Are new bookstores still around?

I always enjoyed going through the rows, stacks and displays examining the shelves with my head tilted to the right while reading all the titles. 

When a book caught my eye I'd take it down and scan a few pages. If it grabbed my attention I would find a place to sit, even if it was the floor. I'd read read a bit and if I took it home I knew I would enjoy and finish it.

Now everything is changed. 

Now I think for .99 what have I got to lose?

I should change that way of thinking. 

For .99 I have .99 to lose.

Now I acquire books at a furious rate. I have books lined up in my queue I can't remember downloading. I have free books, cheap books, expensive books and samples of books. 

Except I don't really have books at all.

My Kindle has become a virtual bookcase without any of the beauty and comfort of a real one.

Is there some sort of Honeymoon for Kindle and eBook readers and their owners?

For a little over a year I was in love with my Kindle and now, well now I'm ready to file for divorce. Yes, I know it was a short relationship but in those fifteen months I bet I charged her battery seventy times. I know I cleaned her screen at least once a week. 

We had a good run but now it's over.

I'm tired of feeling guilty when I send a book back to the cloud. I'm tired of feeling like a failure when I can't finish one.

Even a book about a 13-year-old whiny girl stuck in Tartarus.

"Hello Devil.....it's me Madison.....I'm still here."

And that was a library book. 

It was free.

And it still bothered me when I sent it packing.

I talk big.

I'm sure you've heard the expression you talk the talk but do you walk the walk? Well I don't really walk the walk.

Oh I like to think I've learned a lesson and I'll be more discriminating in the future but I know I won't. 

I'll continue to download lousy books and waste time trying to read them.

It's not as if I need to read for entertainment and lord knows, at this stage of my life I don't need enlightenment. I have many chores that keep me busy throughout my day. Things like taking out the garbage and feeding the cats. 

And at times I simply sit outside watching the birds eat and the clouds drift by.

I need to get back to reading what I know.

I should concentrate on my favorite proven authors and simply wait for their new releases but I can't bring myself to spend $10, $12 or $15 on a virtual book.

I've done it in the past and it's rather like a great dinner without dessert.

A movie without the popcorn.

A double caramel frappuccino decaf lite.

Oh, I can manipulate my brain to process a virtual book and make the experience of the read real. But I'm a tactile person and I like to touch things. 

I'm pleased to say my hands never got me in trouble.

I think they will soon go back to holding (among other things) books.