An Elephant a Rhinoceros and a Mammoth Walk in to a Bar.

I had something very profound to share with you today but I forgot what it is. I guess this will have to do.

Today is Elephant Appreciation Day.

The founder, Wayne Hepburn, while living in the Chicago area in 1970 received as a gift from his twelve year old daughter a paperweight whose base was encircled by a parade of elephants. He subsequently bought and began to collect elephant figures. By 1978 when he moved to Orange Park, Florida he had eighty or so elephants crowding out the books in his living room bookcase.

He became more interested in elephants and began reading and learning about them, seeking them out, riding them, and fed his growing passion for elephants with a collection which in 1997 numbers one thousand nine hundred ninety nine cataloged items.

Figures, toys, clothing articles, books (over 100), music boxes, jewelry, prints and original art ... in short, every imaginable art and artifact bearing or made in the likeness of an elephant. In addition he has collected examples of elephant images used in publicity, advertising, brand identifications, cartoons, and all manner of print and other media applications.

He is currently seeking the original artist cell drawing of Babar the cartoon elephant. "If anyone knows the whereabouts of this I would be happy to pay a finders fee. I'm getting old and would die a happy man if Babar graced my office wall."

Things you should know about elephants.

Elephants need to sleep for only three or four hours a day. Contrary to popular belief, they don’t always sleep standing up. They take their main sleep period lying down, although they may stay standing during brief naps.

Following the tragic death of Ottie Kashuupula in Namibia and what is thought to be a YouTube copy-cat accident in Nepal elephant tipping has been outlawed.

Elephants experience a longer gestation period than any other animal in the world. Elephant moms stay pregnant for 22 months, two months shy of a full two years. 

Lawrence Anthony the famous author and conservationist who is known as the Elephant Whisperer said, "Female elephants are not really happy campers after the first ten months of their pregnancy. After giving birth the most common exchange with their mates is '"Get the heck off me."'

They take a lot of time off between pregnancies, typically four or five years.

Only a few animals have passed the so-called “mirror test,” i.e., the ability of an animal to recognize itself in a mirror. A 2006 study demonstrated that elephants possess this self-awareness. An elephant named Happy passed a “mark test” by touching her trunk to an X painted on her forehead that was only visible in the mirror, showing self-recognition.

It is a little known fact that some humans do not pass the "mirror test." Several members of the Kardashian clan gaze upon themselves and fail to see real people.

There has been some debate over whether elephants can actually run. Elephants can’t travel while simultaneously lifting all of their legs off of the ground, traditionally a hallmark of what’s considered running. But because elephants can travel at 15 mph with a gait that isn’t truly walking or trotting, some scientists have determined that they can indeed run, albeit with a unique gait called the “Groucho walk.”

In the 1930 movie Animal Crackers Groucho Marx as the famous African explorer Captain Jeffery T. Spaulding says, "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."

In 2009 a small group began a movement to change the gait to a more suitable and less violent name. "As he so famously mentioned he shot an elephant," charter member Sally Teasdale told the Weekly Reporter. "We suggest the Soupy Shuffle or the Funky Gibbon." 

African elephants are the largest land animals on the planet. They can grow to stand 13 feet tall and weigh 14,000 pounds (7 tons). The very largest African elephant on record weighed in at an unbelievable 27,000 pounds.

African elephants are unconcerned about their weight. There is no truth to the story circulating through Hollywood. NBC is not planning a spin-off series, The Biggest Loser......Africa.

With a lot of skin and no fur to cover it, it’s not surprising that elephants are susceptible to sunburns. They have a few strategies for combating it, such as seeking shade when possible, and throwing dirt and sand on their bodies for protection. For added shade, adult elephants also stand over their calves while the little ones sleep.

"Sunscreen was expensive and very messy," remarked Tennessee preserve founder Scott Balis. "We set up large parasols but the elephants would not go near them. Then it hit me......Dumbo, OK I know that was a feather. Maybe it was a Mary Poppins thing. We changed them out for octagon shaped tents and the animals love them."

Elephants use their trunks much like humans use their hands. In fact, elephant trunks are even more sensitive than our fingertips. Elephants pet each other with their trunks to calm and soothe one another. Elephant couples even show affection by entwining their trunks together.

A couple of humans were recently arrested for entwining their trunks together in a public park in Toledo.

African elephants smell better than any other animal on Earth. In July 2014, new research showed that African elephants possess more genes dedicated to smell than any other animal.

Unless a close formation is necessary for protecting the herd elephants normally stand down wind from each other. Much like me and my old Uncle Henry.

Elephants form deep emotional bonds, and they display real grief when loved ones die. Elephants are known to shed tears, gather for funerals, bury their dead, suffer depression and even starve themselves in response to the death of another elephant.

After the death of a partner a male will usually find a new mate within two years. Female elephants travel and generally enjoy their independence.

Today is also National Ice Cream Cone Day.

My first after school job was at a Baskin-Robbins on Wyoming Ave. in Detroit, Michigan. 

Abe Saperstein taught me the fine art of ice-cream scooping, banana split making and soda serving. He also taught me proper floor mopping technique. He gave me the opportunity to learn responsibility.

............and he paid me .65 per hour.

It was my first and last job in the food service business.