I just returned from my once a month go to the doctor for a prescription visit. I'm pleased to say now I only need to go every three months. I've been seeing this doc for 18 months and going to her group much longer than that. When I finished today and got my April follow-up appointment it felt like we were getting a divorce, or at least a trail separation.
7 smart things to do with $1,000 according to interest.com
1. Pay down credit card debt.
2. Build up your emergency fund
3. Put it in an IRA
4. Go back to school
5. Buy a dividend-paying stock
6. Buy a bike
7. Fix up your home
Fine, I agree with number one. Considering the average American household has almost $16,000 in credit card debt, why not. But, how are you expected to "build up your emergency fund" and pay down credit card debt. The emergency just may be getting the bill every month.
Going back to school on a thousand bucks? Like that's going to cover tuition and books. I certainly don't know what buying a bike will do for you and a grand to "fix up your home" won't go far. We just got an estimate of $800 to paint our bathroom.
There are a few things they forgot.
1. Face it, an extra $1,000 is good to have but really, it's not going very far. Wait until the lottery is high, over $100 million and buy a thousand tickets. You have nothing to lose, except the thousand bucks.
2. Invest the money in canned corn, garbanzo beans and spam. Oh, and bottled water.
3. Go to 'Vegas. The city wouldn't be there if people won but you never know. If nothing else you can spend a few days in a nice hotel, eat well and see a Cirque du Soleil. Of the six shows playing Las Vegas I recommend Mystere or that one where they're naked.
4. The state of New Jersey is working diligently to improve traffic on its George Washington Bridge, invest in municipal bonds.
5. Think of all the enjoyable hours you can spend in front of a brand new big screen television. Prices are down and the Super Bowl is only a couple of weeks away.
An uncle of mine kept a $100 bill in his wallet. He said it was for "emergencies." Whatever, I thought it was a ton of money. It's scary to consider what ten times that amount buys today.
Doris said her money was well spent.
An elderly British woman celebrated her 100th birthday by hiring a male stripper and partying at a pub.
In addition to the bottles of booze that were at the bar, Doris Delany brought a bottle of baby oil to the party (the baby oil is rather creepy).
Before coming up with the plan to request “the full Monty,” Delany originally wanted to replicate her 90th birthday celebration when she took a helicopter ride, but only if the pilot would strip.
"She asked me if when she was in the air the pilot would strip for her! We told her that no, pilots don't do that, we'll have to get you a real stripper, and she chose one herself; she said 'he looks like he's been looked after!”’ said Delany's daughter-in-law. "I told the lad he might have to be careful with her because of her age, but then she told me she wanted the whole lot!"
"She's in great health for her age -- the doctor says she has the heart and lungs of a 30-year-old (and the 30-year-old would like them back). It was brilliant, a really good night. You should have seen her face when the lad straddled her! She loved the limo ride to the pub and to see a 100-year-old enjoy something like this was great." Her son added.
For her 101st birthday Doris is planning a naked tandem base jump off Scafell Pike where she and her instructor will attempt a landing in a large tub filed with margarine.
Oh, that's got to hurt. It seems I'll never run out of these stories. How many times can I use the word penis and priapism in seven short paragraphs?
An Irish cyclist who suffered an injury on the crossbar of his mountain bike that caused his penis to stay erect finally went to a hospital after five weeks.
According to the Irish Medical Journal, the 22-year-old sustained ongoing “high-flow” priapism “with rigid erection.” The scary situation was caused by irregular blood flow to his penis.
Priapism is “a prolonged, unwanted erection for more than four hours in the absence of sexual stimulation.”
After the man arrived at the hospital, he was treated with a pressure dressing for two weeks “but release of pressure caused immediate recurrence of priapism.”
Doctors eventually worked on an abnormal connection between an artery and a vein to reduce the amount of blood that was being supplied to the penis.
“We were very happy with the outcome,” said Dr. Ronan Browne. “It was an anxious time for the patient, as it would be for any young man.”
While he was suffering the erection, intercourse would have been “possible, but painful.”(For whom?) If he hadn't received treatment, the man could have suffered a blood clot. (Better a clot than having his PENIS FALL OFF)
Browne called the case “unusual.”
He didn't know four boxes of pasta noodles only count as one.
A 77-year-old man was arrested over the weekend at a Walmart in Florida after allegedly attacking another elderly man with a shopping cart following an argument about express lane items.
Bill Gold was upset because he felt that John Mally had too many items for the express lane. According to Mally, he attempted to check out at the 20-item lane with 22 purchases.
Gold began counting Mally’s items as he put them on the counter, and when he exceeded 20, Gold began yelling. He then grabbed his shopping cart and tried to ram Mally’s right side with it.
"He kept screaming about too many groceries," said Mally.
After Gold began gesturing with both fists an off-duty police officer who happened to be on the scene restrained him.
Gold didn’t make it out with his three items and he was brought to Charlotte County Jail on charges of battering an elderly person.
This guy needs to relax.
Back on Monday.
1 comment:
Bet you educated a lot of readers today with the priapism! Thanks for chuckle. Our neighbor just had his house painted & now the other neighbor is using the same guy. We are impressed with the care he has taken with the work. If you need some names of reputable painters, let me know. Our other neighbor was a sheetrocker and has a lot of contacts he has used to paint inside his house too. Hey, whatever happened to the dishwasher? Funny thing, the next day ours decided to act up. STopped it midcycle as I often do to add an item, it then acted as if it were dead & no "juice." Was sure we were going to be getting a new one but the next morning, it started up fine. Must have been a computer, mother board upset or something. Thank goodness for little blessings like that. Susan
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