According to my sources today is "Be Bald and Free Day." The bald is easy the free I'm not sure about. After further investigation the free is free from worry. When it's gone, it's gone.
Today is a Federal Holiday, it's Columbus Day. I tried to find more information but the government is closed.
You're going to love this, it's also National Dessert Day, so have an extra one or two after dinner.
Dinner/Diner Dessert/Desert....I'd been driving for what seemed like days as the never changing dry flat desert stretched out in front of me. The heat of the day was shimmering off the blacktop. I felt parched. My lips dry, my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. Was that a building or a mirage I saw in the distance? I continued driving, the glare hurting my eyes in spite of my triple polarized sun glasses. Time was moving slowly, oh so slowly. It felt like all the sand in the desert was flowing through a huge hourglass marking my progress one grain at a time.
Suddenly the building appeared again, solid, substantial, real. Here in the middle of nowhere was a Diner. A Diner in the Desert where I stopped for Dinner and Dessert.
You can find the rest of this story on Amazon.com cheap and terrible books for .99 or even free. Look for "Driving Toward Danger" by C. Dennis.
I can't find anything interesting today. I do have a she said/he heard.
Friday Wanda was, as usual, doing six different things at once. For years this made me crazy. Now I just try to stay out of her way. We all have different methods to get from point A to point C. I like to go through point B while Wanda uses most of the alphabet. Whatever the route she always finishes the journey. She likes to eat snack food while working.
She said: "It's my munching food while cleaning." (plain popcorn)
He heard: It's my monkey food while cleaning.
I earmarked an article: 10 Foods That Should Never Have Been Canned. I thought it would be interesting to pass this along. It is really a visual so you will need your imagination. Just picture these products in cans.
Bacon
Sausages
Chicken Wings
Spotted Dick Sponge Pudding
Squid (in natural ink)
Smokey BBQ Roasted Scorpions
Luncheon Meat
Whole Chicken (without giblets)
Pork Brains With Milk Gravy
Cheeseburger
I would not eat any of these except maybe the Pork Brains. The Milk Gravy really does it for me.
I recently read an article about HGH supplements. I'm slightly behind the times because Dr. Oz was talking about human growth hormone pills almost a year ago. What caught my eye was the cost, about a hundred dollars a month. Wanda and I try to eat healthy, exercise and think young. We don't have two hundred extra dollars per month to spend on pills. And if money was no object, I wonder if we would?
Would you?
In my exhaustive research along these lines I found: Health Products You Probably Don't Need.
1. Shake Weight: I'm sure you've seen these. Spring loaded weight on each side of a bar bell. You can get the same benefits from a cocktail shaker.
2. Antioxidant Supplements: A healthy diet will get you all the oxidants you need, both anti and pro.
3. Vitamin Water: This "healthy" drink has 33 grams of sugar.
What's with all these terribly annoying video pop-ups? All of a sudden every web site has ads that scream at me. Buried in my open windows this morning Wolfgang Puck was blathering about making strudel with his mother. It took me five minutes to find the damn thing and close it. I just heard from Rose Winter about leasing a new Honda. And because of one of the blog entries last week I now get ads for SPANX.
4. Barefoot Running Shoes: These claim to be like "running with a glove on your foot" and at $75-$125 a pair they should be made of Corinthian leather.
5. Colon Cleansers: Always a favorite topic of mine, the "high colonic." Some of you may think I'm obsessed with the colon, as often as I write about it. I assure you I'm not. As a former nurse and hospital orderly I have lots of experience and knowledge to share. My very first health care position was chief enematologist on the afternoon shift at Mercy Hospital in Detroit.
There is little evidence of health benefits, but if you want to pay a "professional" to stick a tube up your rear end, it's your money. Treatments run from $55 to $95. You can serve yourself and save, home kits sell for $50.
6. RepHresh tampons: I couldn't resist. At four times the price of regular tampons this brand claims to "reduce and restore pH levels down to normal non-menstruating levels." As if being female isn't complicated enough.
7. Moisturizing Clothes: Skineez is a line of clothing that incorporates "anti-cellulite" and moisturizing ingredients like caffeine and shea butter into the fabric of the clothes. Body heat triggers the garment to slowly release the embedded ingredients. This is what Richard Simmons would refer to as "sweating to the oldies."
8. Now this is something I know about first hand, Airborne: Said to be a cure for the common cold with little validity. In 2008 Airborne paid over $23 million to settle a class action law suit about its product's cold-prevention effects-or lack thereof. Airborne is an effervescent tablet. The last time Wanda and I boarded an airplane for Europe we took "No Jet-Lag" and Airborne. We didn't get sick and we didn't have jet lag.
For the few bucks I'll use Airborne again. It's lots cheaper then the enemas.
9. Cool Shapes Apparel: These alleged fat-blasting shorts hold ice packs tight to the hips, belly, and butt. Five weeks of 30-minute-a-day wear is said to trigger faster calorie burning and reduce fat.
10. Anti-Wrinkle Creams: At the first sign of wrinkles, fine lines, or age spots, many women are quick to splurge on anti-aging creams, salves, and serums that promise to stop the clock.
Still, the reality is that most have little to no evidence backing up their results. Consumer Reports tested a variety of products in 2010 and found the effects to be inconsistent and minor. Plus, many anti-aging solutions charge big bucks for their "miracle" results.
There are others too. Thermal Suits promise to "sweat off the weight." Special Shoes that help increase your workout and massage belts worn around waist for Fast Abs.
As for me, I'm going to age gracefully. I think I have a pretty good start.
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