If our grandson was an asshole I doubt I'd ever write about him. As it is, he's a great kid. Sure, it's much easier to assess children when they belong to someone else, but we always hear good things from his parents. Nicholas, now and forever referred to as Nick, will be 18 in November.
It seems like I was changing his diapers just the other day. Older Daughter Jennifer went back to work shortly after Nick was born. I was the Wednesday child watcher.
I'm not saying my grandson is an angel. I well remember him having a tantrum in a Safeway store. No didn't sit well and he crawled into the space between two lower shelves. He was huddled behind the Post Toasties crying about Captain Crunch or Lucky Charms. I wasn't about to get on the floor and crawl in after him so I did the, "I'm going to leave you there." I started to push the cart and walk away. Nick didn't care. I think he would have stayed in there for months had I not come up with a way to pry him out. I bribed him.
I give Jenn and Eric a lot of credit for raising a nice, respectful, and honest young man. Having said all that, I'd be delighted if he stayed the Hell away from here today. Grandma Wanda baked several dozen cookies last night. Eric's Maple Snaps are made with real maple syrup and taste like pancakes. She told Nick they were for him. Three to four dozen cookies are in the freezer waiting for Nick. She kept seven out for me. Absolutely delicious cookies and I get a hand full, something just not right about that.
Finally, a professional athlete crosses the line. Drugs and guns are fine but murder is bad for the teams image.
The New England Patriots released Aaron Hernandez shortly after his arrest. Presumably in connection with a murder the tight end was taken into custody by Massachusetts State Police this morning.
I just read part of an article. In theory another team could now claim Hernandez on wavers....disgusting to even think about this.
We go to our local Farmer's Market every Saturday. Two of the posted signs at every entrance read NO SMOKING and NO DOGS. Every frigging week I see people and their doggies.
I really don't care about the dogs, they don't bother me. What does piss me off are the pet owners who seem to think the signs don't apply to them. Oh, MY dog is OK. It's the big ones that are problems. Screw you lady, and the dog you walked in with. I'll never challenge anyone because that's not me. But, I do have an imagination.
Here comes: THE DOG AVENGER
Police in Texas say a woman threw dog feces at a man when he failed to pick up after his pet.
Regina Clutterbuck, 46, of Austin was in custody Monday at the Tulmino County jail on aggravated assault charges.
An arrest affidavit contends Clutterbuck was at her apartment's dog park when she became upset that a man hadn't removed the dog waste. She claims she politely asked. She says, "I asked the guy real nice like, you know." I said, "Hey pick up that shit. I even went so far as to offer the guy a large plastic baggie. Not those cheap ones neither, these have zippers on them. And the guy basically told me to 'Screw Off.'"
Ms. Clutterbuck went on to say, "I get so tired of these people, some of them don't even live here, bringing their dogs over here to poop. Just last week I stepped in a big pile when I was wearing brand new tennis shoes. You have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the bottoms? I'd rather step in chewing gum."
This is her second arrest for dog related issues. Early this year Ms. Clutterbuck accosted a man who did not have his dog on a leash. "I told him if he didn't put a leash on his dog I would put a leash on him." Those charges were eventually dropped.
He now has a standing Tuesday appointment with Regina. "Turns out he likes the leash. Now I need to find me someone who likes getting pelted with crap."
Attorney Willie Gary has filed a federal lawsuit in the United States District Court, Florida's Southern District, against HP and Palm on behalf of performer Ernest Evans over the firms' hosting of an app titled "The Chubby Checker." The app, a play on the stage name of Mr. Evans, was created by developer Magic Apps, and was designed as a calculator for estimating the penis size of a man given the input of his shoe size. Chubby Checker, the singer, was a pop icon of the fifties and is perhaps best known for his cover of "The Twist."
A statement from his lawyers: We can not sit idly and watch as technology giants or anyone else exploits the name or likeness of an innocent person with the goal of making millions of dollars. The defendants have marketed Chubby Checkers' name on their product to gain a profit and this just isn't right."
The 71-year-old Checker is demanding $500 million in damages to the dignity of his brand.
The app was downloaded 84 times and cost 99 cents.
Incidentally, the legal team representing Mr. Checker was awarded a record breaking, half-BILLION dollars against a funeral chain, $240 million against Disney, and $139.6 million against Anheuser Busch.
Downloaded 84 times @ 99 cents....$83.16.
WOW.
A ruler or measuring tape is free and you don't need a shoe size.
Come on baby, let's do the twist.
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