What Do You Say To An Angry Gator?

I had my go to the doctor once a month appointment this morning. She's usually on time. Today she was thirty minutes late. My half-hour in the exam room felt like an eternity, and I had a book. When the walls started closing in on me and the room became the approximate size of a tomato sauce can, I opened the door.

I asked a clerk to check on my doctor. A few seconds later she came back and told me I was next. "Next? I said. Does that mean five minutes or an hour? I'm going nuts with the door closed."

She told me the door needs to be closed, "For patient privacy." 

I guess it's OK to see each other in the waiting room but not in a little cubicle? 

Now at home and running late, I didn't have time to write up my notes. Well, there's never a shortage of news.

Police find alligator during probation check.

Police visiting the home of a Bay Area parolee for a standard compliance check had to make a backup call to an unlikely place: Fish and Game.

When deputies entered the home they discovered 34 pounds of marijuana and a five-foot alligator in a tank in the bedroom. The gator, affectionately dubbed “Mr. Teeth” by the parolee, was used as a deterrent against thieves trying to get their hands on the pot stash.

The man was arrested and booked on suspicion of possessing marijuana for sale. Mr. Teeth, meanwhile, was taken to the local zoo where the gator was quarantined. Zoo officials said the alligator appeared to be “very sick” and likely stressed from the past days’ events.

This guy must read the Stephanie Plum books. An alligator?

Did you know that we had a close encounter with an asteroid last night? It missed earth by nine million miles. Don't have enough shit to worry about?

Now they're discussing the next pass in 2039. I'm not going to worry about that one either.

More big news: Brittany Spears quit the TV show "The X-Factor". She quit before the producers fired her. Apparently she didn't live up to the promise made by Simon Cowell who signed her to a $15 million dollar a year contract.......is that all?

"The shy Spears appeared timid on camera, was mostly drama-free (aside from her occasional disappearing acts in the middle of auditions) and summed up the majority of her judging critiques as “amazing.” In fact, the most amazing part of her presence on the show was her well-documented propensity for making funny faces."

Call me.....please. I would be willing to make funny faces for half that money. Maybe even a little less than half.

Yesterday I read about a break-in that turned fatal. The follow-up this morning, from my hometown.

At first, it seemed a dramatic tale of self defense: A man confronted an armed burglar he found in his apartment Tuesday morning, wrestled with him and killed him with a knife.

But in a bizarre twist, police on Wednesday revealed it wasn't a random burglary at all. Instead, they said, a cheating wife (28) and her lover (22) staged the break-in to intimidate her estranged husband into moving out.

Now, the wife, her lover and two accomplices are behind bars on suspicion of murder. A 54-year-old local transient -- the uncle of the woman's boyfriend -- is dead.

The husband, who was not identified by police, told investigators he was home alone at 10:20 a.m. Tuesday. When he heard what he thought was someone trying to break in through the front door, he ran to the back of the apartment to get a gun.

When he returned, he encountered the would-be burglar holding what the husband believed was a gun, though it turned out to be a toy.

The two men struggled, the husband told police, and both men dropped their weapons. But the husband grabbed a knife and, as the two continued to struggle, he stabbed the 54 year-old man in the back. The husband wasn't arrested and won't face charges. The 54 year old, who died at the scene, was a transient with an "extensive" criminal history of multiple burglaries.

Just another day at the office.