Leftovers....................

Once or twice a month Wanda and I have 'clean out the fridge' for dinner. For instance tonight we have pasta sauce from last night and raviolis from Saturday night. Actually the ravs were leftovers on Saturday night since we had them on Friday. Oh, and we have salad fixings too. I don't know if salad ingredients can ever be considered leftovers? How often do you eat an entire head of lettuce in one sitting? 

Today's blog: leftovers.

How do I begin? 

Thursday morning around 9:30 I received a call from the Oakland County Sheriff. I thought it was a donations request from the Police Activities League. Five or six years ago I sent them a few bucks. Apparently that small donation produced a number of sharks and piranhas. They still call asking me for funds. I heard, but didn't process the call properly. The officer said he was calling from Michigan. It was a notification, he told me that my oldest brother 'passed.' Fred was in the house leaving for his office and never made it out of the garage.

Now, I have had ninety six hours to process all of this. Wanda has been a sounding board, a rock of strength, and as always, the partner I love and respect. Over the last three days, all of my emotions and all of my concerns, have been anchored by her. Whatever I felt I needed to do, or not do, she supported. In the early moments of this ordeal she got a phone call at the office about Fred. Not knowing if I knew, not wanting to tell me over the phone, she left work and drove home. She knew as soon as I opened the door.

And, I want to give her a huge thank you. Although she didn't spend much time with Fred, he was her brother-in-law. All the family phone calls and concerns have come to me, not Wanda. I have been doing all the talking. Not only does she have her own feelings she's been protective of mine.

Over the last few days I have vacillated about going two hundred and fourteen times. The funeral service is Sunday December 9th. My other brother from the same mother (although I'm not so sure about the dad...see blog 4/12/2011) will be there. I think he can represent the California brothers.

In October 2010 my brother Fred had a severe health issue. He was hospitalized and in the ICU. For a week I repeatedly asked him if he wanted me to come in, he said, "not necessary." On October 26 when I got a call from his office manager telling me he was in very bad shape, I went.

I had a long, and getting longer every day, list of relatives and friends who wanted information. E-Mails at first and eventually this blog let everyone know what was happening. From October 27 through December 21, 2010 with a week break at Thanksgiving I spent between eight and twelve hours, seven days a week, at Beaumont Hospital. I will always believe my work there gave my brother these extra two years of life. Not only was I his brother for that time but I was his private duty nurse. My education, training, and experience helped him recover. 

I called my brother almost every Sunday over the last ten years. I know I will miss him, Hell, I missed him yesterday. A sports fan, I know we would have laughed about the 'Lousy Lions' losing a football game they should have won. Other things will come up, how could they not? But, I don't need to be in Michigan for 'clousure.' I'd rather remember the last time I was with him.

I hope you bear with me over the next few days and I'm sure you will.