Pretty sure I have heard, "The Best Laid Plans Of Mice And Men" Do you have any favorite sayings? "Rode hard and put away wet" and "Showing his ass without pulling down his pants" are a couple from Wanda's mother. I use, "can't find his ass with both hands." A good way to start the Monday blog, ass sayings.
When I was nine I read "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck. My brother Allen gave it to me, I enjoyed it, a lot. Lenny and George were always talking about the "rabbit farm" but they never got it. Maybe that's where the best laid plans came from? I had those today.
A few weeks ago we got a Black and Decker electric (battery) hedge trimmer. It's fairly light so I can handle it for five to ten minutes at a time. It's a very nice morning and I was going to trim a few of the backyard shrubs.
The battery pooped out after a few minutes. I was recharging it for the first time so I got the owners manual. I wanted to be sure and do it correctly. The instructions were, of course, wrong. I did not have a charger with four lights on it. The information on line was wrong as well. I had no choice, I had to call "customer service."
After just a few minutes I got a real live person. She said, "the owners manual is incorrect, it's for an HTCN-22B and you have an HTCN-22." I learned they have battery chargers with green lights, red lights, green and red lights, blinking lights, solid lights and they even have a charger with three lights and four lights. Mine had one light, a very large and very bright, red light. All I wanted to know was, how long do I charge the battery?
This just may be the perfect gardening tool for me. Before the first use you charge the battery for eleven hours. It's now ready to use and will run for about an hour. The battery now needs to charge about nine hours before it is used again. However, if it is not used, it will lose the charge (not sure where it goes, Kentucky?) and you need to start all over again.
This morning I wanted to trim the shrubs but the battery was dead. I put it on the charger and it should be ready at eight o'clock tonight. I doubt I will want to work in the yard then. Tomorrow morning the battery will still be ready but maybe I won't be. I may not feel like yard work tomorrow, or the next day or even the day after that. Eventually the battery will discharge and that will be the day I'll want to use it. So, I'll put the battery on the charger for nine hours, get the picture?
I think I found the perfect yard tool, never ready when I am.
I was looking for something in some old notes and found this entry from November 24, 2008: We got gas at Costco this morning, it was $1.89 a gallon.
In the blog last Saturday I wrote about watching the cruise ships sail out of Ft. Laudredale. We were watching on the lap top when I realized we could use the television. I hooked an HDMI cable from the lap top to an input on the television and it worked. We watched the 5,000 passenger Oasis Of The Seas sail a way. The picture was beautiful but we didn't have sound. Sunday, Allure Of The Seas (sister ship) was due out.
Just before two on Sunday I gathered all the necessary equipment. The only difference from the day before, a set of external speakers. I did the same thing both days, exactly the same thing. The only difference, no picture. Not two minutes elapsed when Wanda left the room to go iron something. I had sound, the sound was terrific. I could hear people on the ship, I could hear the ships horn, I could hear myself swearing. I just couldn't see a damn thing. Less than five minutes after the ship slipped from view I got a picture.
When she figured it was safe, Wanda came back in. The Allure was back in the picture, much smaller, now almost on the horizon, She asked me what I did, she said, "What did you do, how did you fix it.?" I could have sounded smart and made something up, I didn't. I said, "I don't know," and I didn't.
I've been using computers since 1998. Over the years I've had lots of "issues" with performance. I don't think there is anything like computer Viagra. I'm on my own with no idea what to do. There are always lots of steps to troubleshoot a problem. Often, I feel like I'm going in circles. When I'm swearing and yelling and about to throw something Wanda is always the voice of reason. "Stop it," she'll say. "Walk away, cool down and then go back to it." I do that and always have positive results.
I may not fix the problem but I can always find my ass. And, I don't need both hands to do it.
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