So this is how my night went.
Wanda went to bed early. I stayed up to watch the last half
of The Devil Wears Prada. I watched the first half a few nights ago
and just like 2006 I turned it off when the twins were reading an unpublished
Harry Potter manuscript while on a train. Nine years later I got no further.
The kids are still on the train.
Instead I watched a documentary about the KKK in North
Carolina in the 60's, mused some about the Tea Party then caught up with the
Gallagher family and Shameless. At 10:30 I went to bed. Ten minutes
later I got up and ate an apple slice. At 11:00 p.m., I ate another apple slice
and a handful of pita chips. At 11:30 I ate another apple slice, a handful of
pita chips and a couple of Wanda's Holiday Special Brown Butter Iced Pumpkin
cookies.
And this is the first thing I saw this morning.
TheDailyMeal.com: Fruits and Vegetables That Aren’t All That
Great for You
Grapes
A large bunch of grapes actually has about 39 grams of
sugar, so if you find yourself mindlessly snacking on grapes, you could be
getting much more sugar than you bargained for.
Oh, I may be in trouble here, what's next? Calories in wine?
Green Peas
According to Alissa Rumsey, registered dietitian, green peas
are best eaten in moderation. "Starchy vegetables like peas have higher
calorie and carbohydrate content," says Rumsey. "So while they are
fine in small amounts, you want to try to fill up your plate with non-starchy
vegetables instead like leafy greens, asparagus, mushrooms, or beets."
OK now someone is criticizing green peas? They're so easy to
cook.
I eat lots of leafy greens and even though asparagus is
expensive and makes my pee smell like a 1700 Paris sewer I eat it too. I gave up mushrooms
in 1968 and the only beet I'm familiar with is the base beat that often booms
from a neighbors house, or if I'm extremely fortunate, his car as it's moving
away.
I know I'm mixing my fruits and vegetables, or homophones
but you try coming up with something interesting to say about beets. I heard
someone say a beet tastes like dirt.
I've never eaten dirt or a beet so I'll take his word for
it.
Mango
Mango is another sugary fruit that Lauren Slayton, author of
"The Little Book of Thin" encourages clients to skip. Instead, she
recommends grapefruit and keeping fruit intake limited to one serving a day while
detoxing.
I'm sure at some time in my past I recognized an unfamiliar
taste in my fruit compote but I've never knowingly consumed a
mango. And now I'm wondering since I've never officially detoxed does that mean
I'm toxed?
Orange Juice
There's nothing wrong with oranges, but orange juice
shouldn't be considered an acceptable substitute for the solid fruit. Orange
juice is a great way to get vitamin C and potassium, plus there are options
with calcium and vitamin D," says Maggie Moon, author of "The
Elimination Diet Workbook." "However, a dieter may be better served
by eating whole fruit instead of juice. Juice concentrates all things by
nature: flavor and nutrients, as well as sugars and calories."
Ya, ya....tell it to my vodka.
Potatoes
Americans adore potatoes, but they're not the best choice
for maintaining a healthy diet, according to Moon. "Even though potatoes
are a great-tasting way to get potassium and vitamin C, the problem is that
Americans love adding fat and salt to this humble root vegetable and removing
the skin, which contains fiber. Additionally, nearly 60 percent of all potatoes
consumed away from home are fried," says Moon.
Vodka is made by the distillation of fermented grains
or potatoes. Potatoes and orange juice both have potassium and
vitamin C.
I don't need that orange juice after all.
Broccoli
While broccoli is a healthy vegetable, like Brussels
sprouts, it’s not a great one if you’re looking to detox (again with the detox). Broccoli can also cause excessive gas and bloating, which might
leave you feeling too gross to hit the gym.
I eat a lot of broccoli. I try to buy organic. At one time I
sliced the sides of the stalks down and cut the tender centers on the bias but
that's a lot of work. Now I just cook and eat the flowers, or crowns.
Oh, by the way,
you'll need to adjust the time slightly depending on size and amount but I've
found 14-16 minutes in a small Black & Decker steamer makes for a tasty
side dish. Add your choice of flavored grease, a small amount mind you, a little spice or cracked pepper and you are good to go.
However...as Ms. Rumsey points out you may have excessive
gas and bloating which is a nice way of saying you may fart. But if you want to go
to the gym, by all means go. With all that sweat smell in the air no one should
notice a little methane.
I haven't been to a gym in years.....do people still
sweat there?
Bananas
While she doesn’t consider them unhealthy, Lauren Slayton,
author of The Little Book of Thin, recommends that those trying to lose
holiday weight skip starchy bananas in favor of fruits like raspberries.
“However, having said this,” Slayton continues, “I tell clients if you’re
running through an airport, don’t skip the banana and opt for the candy bar. It’s
all relative.”
Make up your mind there Lauren. I am so tired of people
knocking the banana. Where would the Minions be without them?
Coconut
Coconut should be considered more of a treat than a fruit,
says Maggie Moon, author of The Elimination Diet Workbook. “Coconut is
sometimes considered a fruit, sometimes a nut, but is high in saturated fat
either way, and that means cholesterol-raising calories that add up quickly.”
Not even in Hawaii
have I eaten real fresh cut from the shell coconut. I don't like anything
about coconut, not the pina colada drink and certainly not the song. I once had the
misfortune of trying to behave in a polite manner in public while eating a slice of
coconut frosted wedding cake.
I was sure I was eating confetti and straw.
It could have been worse, it could have been German chocolate.
Cherries
Slayton also recommends that clients skip sugary cherries
when trying to bounce back from holiday indulgences. “Overfruiting is super
common,” she says. “What happens is that excess fruit sugar (fructose) is
easily welcomed by your fat cells.” Therefore, munching cherry after cherry
could be counterproductive to your goals.
Lauren.....really? Spitting cherry pits is one of the joys
of life. I love cherries.
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I won't be eating the cherries but I've heard pumpkin
is very healthy.
Pass me another cookie.
I'll scrape off a little icing.
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