Because of smart phones, even though many have GPS capabilities, I've come to the conclusion future generations of young people will lose the ability to navigate to places like the library.
Now I'm very concerned Wanda and I are contributing to future generations of fast flying little birds of lower intelligence.
We are doomed and you can blame Higgs boson.
He has warned us that aliens or artificial intelligence may destroy us. He's predicted we have 1,000 (more or less) years to find our way off earth to inhabit another planet and now this.
In the preface to a new collection of essays and lectures called "Starmus," the famous theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking is warning that the Higgs boson particle could one day be responsible for the destruction of the known universe. However, scientists don't think it will happen soon.
"Most likely it will take 10 to the 100 years [a 1 followed by 100 zeroes] for this to happen, so probably you shouldn't sell your house and you should continue to pay your taxes," Fermilab theoretical physicist Joseph Lykken said during a Sept. 2 lecture at the SETI Institute. "On the other hand, it may already have happened, and the bubble might be on its way here now. And you won't know because it's going at the speed of light, so there's not going to be any warning."
Just when I was starting to feel good about things I need to worry about this.
You know they say (and one of these days I swear I'm going to discover who THEY are) write what you know and I know ageing. I never gave much thought to becoming a senior citizen. At times I forget I am, especially when talking to young people. I need to remind myself most of them really don't care what I have to say.
Last week end Wanda and I went to visit our most excellent purveyor of caffeine, Adrian the owner of Steeltown Coffee & Tea. We ordered our drinks and talked about local business for a few minutes. Just prior to leaving Wanda reminded me I drove to the shop.
She said. "Don't forget you have the key."
He heard. Don't forget you have to pee.
I rely on Wanda to check my fly when I leave the restroom due to my consistent inability to remember to zip the damn thing up but don't think I'm yet at the point of needing a pee break reminder. I'm still pretty good at recognizing a semi or full bladder.
And while I'm at it, what is the deal with all the spots on my clothing? These days it seems I miss my mouth on a regular basis. We still haven't discovered a reliable spot remover so I have a host of shirts I can't (or shouldn't) wear in public. I should probably start wearing a large bib when I eat.
If I do wear these outside I'm thinking of using a Sharpie to circle and point out the stains. I may as well be obvious about them. Maybe I'm on to something?
We wore tie dyed fashions when we were young. Now, how about food stain circles?
It is indeed a new day dawning.
Saturday Night Live seemed so subversive when I was in my mid-twenties. I watched the commercials wondering if they were actual products, that is until Dan Akroyd demonstrated the Bassomatic. Now State Farm has joined forces with Lorne Michaels' media and entertainment company, Broadway Video Entertainment and its SNL properties to produce commercials starring 90's characters to promote the new Discount Double Check campaign.
Hans & Franz (Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey) will "pump you up" and the Richmesiter (Rob Schneider) will talk you through a copy machine visit. These characters were popular twenty years ago. The kids that watched then are now in their forties, many with children of their own. An insurance discount may just be worth looking into.
These advertising people have come a long way since "If You Ain't Eatin' Wham.....You Ain't Eatin' Ham."
Miss. Trout was our last outdoor cat. She loved to explore the backyard. When she wanted to return to the safety of the house she would jump up and hang off the window screen of whichever room we happened to be in. Trout's been gone for many years and it was time to repair or replace the torn screens.
I tried to replace screens myself several years ago. I bought the materiel, the rubber holder in the frame stuff and a special (for this job only) tool that theoretically helped stretch and secure the screen. I ended up with acid indigestion, raised blood pressure, a cut hand and a very loose screen in a bent and slightly mangled frame.
This time I decided damn the cost I'd let a professional do the work.
In 1995 we replaced all the windows in the house with double pane energy efficient units that have a "lifetime warranty" (as long as you own your home). Two of the seals have broken so when I dropped off the screens I inquired about the so-called warranty. Truth be told, I didn't have much faith in the promise.
"We only keep paper paperwork for seven years." I was told. "Do you still have yours?"
I was talking to someone who was three-year-old when we bought the windows. I've lost teeth, hair and skin tone since 1995.
I have no idea where my receipt is.
I didn't have a computer in 1995.
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