Real......or Not? A Few To Consider.

I watch the Oscar's every year. These days, unlike years past, I rarely see any of the nominated films but I do enjoy the pageantry. The Academy Award telecast, like the Super Bowl has taken on a life of its own. Our television coverage started at two o'clock and ended at midnight. I didn't sit through all ten hours, that's what DVR's are for.

Last night the nominated best film plots were diverse and imaginative. 

Here are a few that didn't make the cut.

Four thirty-something buddies are still drinking beer, smoking pot and working in dead end jobs. They discover a backyard hot tub is really a portal back to their late teen years where they can make changes that alter the future.

The star witness in a criminal case has been living in Hawaii and must return to California. In an effort to silence her the man on trial hires an exotic pet store owner who loads deadly and poisonous snakes on her airplane. All passengers are given sweet smelling flower leis that give off pheromones to attract the snakes. When the snakes get loose all hell breaks out.

A young man who works in a convenience store does all his talking through an argyle sock puppet. He's attracted to a customer but discovers she is more interested in the sock. Devastated and enraged he throws the sock away only to have it return to his bedside table the following morning. Over the next six months he is slowly driven mad by the return of the argyle sock.

A woman who faints at the sight of blood is turned into a vampire. In order to overcome and face her fear she enrolls in phlebotomy training at a local business college night course. When students start disappearing she becomes the primary suspect.

A high-rise building window washer witnesses what he thinks is a murder. When police arrive at the scene they find a locked apartment and very large English Mastiff with a small piece of material in his mouth. Investigators must find truth and clear the canine before the next major dog show.

In this tale of deceit and lies a CPA falsifies hundreds of tax returns while funneling the stolen funds to an off shore account in Tobango. A suspicious client alerts authorities who assign a top forensic accountant to the case. Excitement ensues as the money trail is investigated.

And in other "news" of the day.

A California man is trying to have his way with McDonald’s and super-size his bank account after filing a $1.5 million lawsuit that claims he was only given one napkin when he ordered a Quarter Pounder Deluxe.

Webster Lucas claims that when he complained to the manager at the McDonald’s in Pacoima, Calif., he was told he had already been given his allotment of napkins.

"I should have went to eat at the Jack-in-the-Box because I didn't come here to argue over napkins. I came here to eat,” Lucas said.

According to TMZ, Lucas, who is black, claims the manager then “mumbled something about ‘you people.’”

Lucas emailed the general manager to complain about the “undue mental anguish" he was suffering, and was offered free burgers as compensation.

If he wins his case Lucas says he'll buy an entire case of napkins.

A bird is the word.

Police in India said a slain woman's pet parrot helped identify the woman's alleged killer by behaving strangely when the man was around.

Investigators said Neelam Sharma, 45, was found killed at her home and police were stumped for nearly a week until Sharma's widower, Vijay Sharma, told them the only witness to the crime, Hercule the parrot, had been acting strangely around his nephew, Ashutosh.

"During discussions too, whenever Ashutosh's name was mentioned, the parrot would start screeching. This raised my suspicion and I informed the police," Sharma said.

Shalabh Mathur, senior superintendent of police, said Ashutosh confessed to the killing during questioning.

"We checked his call details and took him in custody. He accepted his crime and informed us that he was accompanied by an accomplice. They had entered the house with the intention of taking away cash and other valuables," Mathur said.

Ashutosh allegedly told officers he killed his aunt when she spotted him and began to yell for help during the crime. Hercule the parrot was silent during the crime and remained untouched.

They won't win parents of the year.

A Wyoming woman has been charged with felony aggravated assault and battery after an incident where she allegedly stabbed a 5-foot-tall teddy bear that her ex-boyfriend had given her while telling him, “I wish this was you.”

Carly Marra moved to Capser in the fall to live with Jordan McAlexander after they had a child together. After Marra informed him that she was now carrying another man’s baby, McAlexander began seeing an ex-girlfriend.

Marra delivered the second baby in January and McAlexander informed her via text that their relationship was over toward and the end of February. She consented, but asked to have one final night with the family.

That night, the two had an argument about smoking and Marra allegedly attacked the teddy bear with a kitchen knife. McAlexander told police Marra allegedly said, “I’m going to stab you,” while grabbing the bear, and then proceeded to punch, elbow and kick him in the face and groin.

During the altercation, Marra alleges that McAlexander punctured her arm with the knife and hit her head against a wall.

In addition to the felony charge, Marra was charged with possession after police found an ounce of marijuana and liquid THC in the apartment.