My Nominee for Stupid Man of the Month...

Today is Take out the Trash Totes Tuesday.

It's also Oatmeal-Nut Waffles Day; whole grain or wheat with rolled raw oats is the suggestion for the waffle. You're on your own for nuts.

And it's World Plumbing Day; it's a day to promote safe and healthy plumbing all around the world. Demonstrations will be held in a city near you. Lessons and talks will highlight proper public bathroom etiquette, flushing, plunger technique and toilet seats, up or down? So grab your plungers, notepads, pens and smart phones and join in all the fun. 

Call 1-800-FLUSH-ME (1-800-358-7463) for exact times and locations.

Thanks to Avie for this joke.

A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Jim. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, more than you. I’m not getting any at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her. A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn auto correct. I meant “wifi,” not “wife.”

Although it's only the 11th I'm declaring this guy the Mensa member of the month.

Jules Bahler, 21, was arrested for a series of bank robberies after he posted a selfie on his Facebook page with the automatic weapon he used in the heists.

After Bahler, aka King Romeo, posted the photo on his Facebook page authorities saw the photo and recognized the weapon as one described from a bank robbery in Bay City, Michigan the previous day. The police then contacted the FBI and directed them towards the page.

Bahler also made the unwise decision to mention that he had purchased the gun recently in the photo caption. The first two robberies took place in Pontiac, Michigan and the third in Bay City was the only one in which a weapon was used.

Once detained, Bahler reportedly confessed to all three robberies.

During a raid last week, officers from the San Diego Police Department’s Vice Unit went into the Cheetahs strip club and took photos of the mostly-nude dancers for "investigative purposes."

The officers, concerned that the naked women may carry concealed weapons raided the club with their guns drawn and bulletproof vests strapped on, an image that scared many of the people inside.

The officers made all 30 dancers line up so that they could check their permits and collect their information.

"They asked us for our licenses and then took down our Social Security and had us line up in the back of the dressing rooms and take pictures," said stripper Katelyn Delight. "They made me feel like I was a gang member pretty much and they wanted to document every single one of my tattoos.”

According to the club owner there haven’t been any problems here in the last 10 years. "We are good citizens. We want to be a part of the community,” he said.

Police released this statement about the incident:

"One of the many responsibilities of the San Diego Police Departments Vice Unit is to conduct random inspections of strip clubs to ensure dancers are complying with the law and that they have an entertainers permit. In most cases Vice Unit detectives do not require or request clubs to shut down. Photographs of the entertainers permit and the person in possession of it are taken for investigative purposes."

Investigative purposes? So that's what they're calling auto-eroticism in San Diego. I'll take six 8 X 10's, a dozen 5 X 7's and fourteen wallet size please.

Hold on, I'll suck out the poison.

A Scottish woman said she awoke to a snake crawling on her body and it bit her on the breast when she tried to brush it off. Caroline Griffin said she initially didn't think the 4-foot snake was real when she woke up to find it crawling on her under her blanket.

"At first I thought my flat mate was playing a trick but I got the fright of my life when I saw it move, I began to scream and it immediately bit me on the breast."

The snake turned out to be the long-missing pet of her neighbor who said the reptile is a California king-snake and not venomous.

"I hadn't seen him since he got out of his tank six months ago," he said.

"He'd never bitten a person before and probably reacted to Caroline screaming."

Brotherly love at it's best.

Authorities in Florida said they were called to break up a fight between two brothers who used a knife, a garbage can and a shovel as weapons in their brawl.

A neighbor called the police saying the brothers, Ronald and Joe Miller had been arguing loudly all day and she saw one hit the other over the head with a shovel.

The responding officer's report says the brothers both "appeared highly intoxicated." They told the deputy the argument started when Ronald told Joe no one in their family loved or cared about him.

Joe was heard to say, "Mom always liked you best" just prior to hitting his brother over the head.

He was arrested and charged with aggravated battery using a deadly weapon.

Back tomorrow with more.....