My home Lifestyle page says the happiest people on earth or at least in the U.S. are not in Disneyland. They're living in North and South Dakota. I'll use the oft uttered movie phrase now: You've got to be kidding me.
The current temperature in Bismarck, North Dakota is -1 and it feels like -17. In North Eagle Butte, South Dakota (I can't find a South Eagle Butte) it's 2 degrees and feels like -13. If you enjoy the game of golf you may need to wait a few months to play. The current temperature on the local course is -11 and it feels like -33.
I'm sure there is a lot of beautiful land up in that area of the country. I passed through South Dakota on a train several years ago but I don't remember much of the landscape. The train was fine, but live there? No thanks. I'd rather be somewhat happy and live here in California.
I checked local news in the Dakotas. Syphilis and Gonorrhea are on the rise.
Great news: McDonald's is considering expanding its breakfast hours beyond 10:30 a.m. How about it? An Egg McMuffin for lunch sounds good.
Here is a sandwich you're sure to like.
A Ruben sandwich without the meat.
The recipe calls for vegan bacon rather than corned beef. It sounds delicious (is my sarcasm showing), but why call it a Ruben, why not a B.L.T? Oh it's the sauerkraut.
I realize food prices are rising faster than the oceans and it's good to save money but this helpful tip is a little extreme.
Slow cook a pot roast and make it last all week.
Monday: Honey, what's for dinner tonight?
Pot roast, carrots and potatoes.
How about tomorrow?
Pot roast sandwiches.
And Wednesday?
Diced pot roast stew.
Thursday?
Pot roast hash.
Friday?
Moroccan hash....and a little pot.
Finally, something I like.
Today is Chocolate-Covered Peanuts Day so buy yourself a box of Goobers and head out to see a movie.
Goobers... they're much more than peanuts.
From the Urban Dictionary: basically a goober is just a kindhearted, rather oblivious goofball. It's a term of endearment really. It comes from the ancient Scottish verb "to goub", which has to do with doing a dance and smiling sheepishly while doing so, exposing the goubs in one's teeth.
Come on sweetie, show me your goubs.
It's a great place to keep coke when you don't have pockets; or are you sure you don't want some of this?
According to reports from the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office, a 20-year-old man was arrested and charged with possession of derivatives of coca leaves after a doctor who was trying to treat him for a gunshot wound to his buttocks found a small bag containing 2.5 grams of cocaine.
Akili Bailey was also booked on two outstanding warrants for simple battery and simple criminal damage to property.
After receiving a call about a shooting police found Bailey with gunshot wounds to his buttocks, leg and foot.
When doctors at the LSU Interim Public Hospital in New Orleans tried to help Bailey, he resisted treatment and seemed to be "clenching his buttocks together." The victim declined to answer questions about the shooting.
Here is a good example of survival of the fittest or if at first you don't succeed, try try again or third times a charm or alcohol and guns, a bad combination.
A 36-year-old Michigan man’s death was ruled to be a suicide after he fatally shot himself in the head while attempting to demonstrate gun safety at his Independence Township home.
When deputies from the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office arrived on the scene, they found the man’s girlfriend performing CPR.
She told officers that the man, who had been drinking most of the day, wanted to demonstrate how safe guns were when they were empty by placing a gun to his head and squeezing the trigger. He did this with two handguns before the third one fired.
“(The situation) is pretty unique, as I have never heard of anyone testing out the safety of a gun by pointing at their head and pulling the trigger,” Undersheriff Michael McCabe said.
And he didn't even get a tip.
What to do when you can't get a motel room or a boy's best friend is his mother.
According to police, a drunken Illinois couple refused to pay the fare after having sex during a cab ride.
After arriving at their destination the man and his date informed the driver that they couldn't pay the $83 fare.
The driver then called police who arrived to find an exasperated driver, two intoxicated, incoherent passengers and clothing strewn throughout the taxi.
The 27-year-old man opted to use his mother's credit card to pay the bill.
Police took the 31-year-old woman to the police station and her brother eventually came and picked her up.
Unsurprisingly, the cab driver said he picked the couple up outside a bar.
A San Francisco mom said her 13-year-old Girl Scout is selling lots of cookies after setting up shop in front of medical marijuana dispensaries.
Carol Lei said taking her daughter, Danielle, to sell cookies outside cannabis shops in the city has been a successful business decision -- helping her work toward her goal of selling 1,200 boxes -- and giving her the opportunity to teach Danielle and her fellow scouts about medical marijuana.
"They learn that they're not drugged out," Lei said. "Many have serious needs, and are just a little different. I feel like its safe. There's always a security guard and cameras everywhere."
Other groups of Girl Scouts have been setting up shop outside pot stores elsewhere in California and in Colorado, where recreational use of marijuana was legalized this year.
Cookies....pssst, I've got cookies, only $7 a box.
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