Does This Make My Ass Look Big?

I forgot to buy my Calottry Powerball tickets. Someone else in California won the $425 million. And I had such plans for that money.

One more reason I'm glad I was born a male Homo sapien.

The Spanx line has a new item; the Trust Your Thinstincts Booty Bra. It sells for $58 with the "cheeky" tag line "You won't believe these buns are real!"

The bra for the butt is constructed with a microfiber panel that is supposed to help muffin tops (muffin tops...buns, are we talking about people or baked goods) and pudgy tummies disappear, while a non-compression fabric along the backside "keeps your posterior perky and separated."

There is nothing like a perky and separated posterior to help one through the day.

"Good morning Louise. How are you today?"
"I feel like shit thanks. I'm hung-over and depressed but my posterior is perky and I expect it'll get me through the day. Thanks for asking"

The Spanx line is very popular and who am I to knock it. If wearing this clothing helps raise a ladies self esteem then it's worth the money and effort. However, sooner or later the clothing comes off and the body parts come down. 

An old standby and favorite of mine:

"Honey, does this make my ass look big?"
"God.....it's a hat."

I've always been satisfied with the sack that houses my brain and other body parts. Oh sure, I could have been a little taller but I'd never wear lifts or big shoes. When I hug (yes I hug) tall people my nose usually makes contact with their arm pit and that I could do without, but most of my close friends use deodorant and for those that don't I hold my breath and make it quick.

Loneliness can be bad for your health a recent study revealed. The new study, presented at the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, reveals that people who are lonely experience more reactivation of latent viruses in their systems than the well connected. Lonely people are also more likely than others to produce inflammatory compounds in response to stress, a factor in heart disease and other chronic disorders.

To simplify, lonely people get sick more than those with friends.

The findings presentation and problem solutions can be seen in several on-line interactive videos.

Everett and Cecelia Petch of Gila Bend, Arizona recently celebrated 75 years of marriage. Now in their early 90's they have been lifelong residents of Gila Bend and almost lifelong partners. 

Most, if not all of the 1,964 residents of the small town know the couple. Next door neighbor Stella Coop said, "We've been neighbors for more years than I care to think about. I love them both. Not that long ago I would see them riding their bicycles. Now they pretty much keep to themselves. I pick up groceries for them every month."

Everett and Cecelia met when attending the Old Dome School and were married soon after graduation. "Weren't much but a whole lot of nothing around here when we were kids," said Everett. "At the time I didn't think we'd stay but the hardware and feed store was good to us and here we are."

When asked the secret of their long partnership Cecelia said, "No secret to it, we stopped talking to each other about twenty years ago. Everett decided to stop wearing his hearing aid so he couldn't hear me anyway. I guess another reason we've been together so long is because we're old."

Wanda and I have been married 24 years. I know we'll never make it to 75 like Everett and Cecelia but so far so good. If we don't do any renovation or remodeling for a while we may just make it to our 25th year this October.

While discussing Italian Olympic skaters.

She said. "You think fatigue had something to do with it."
He heard. You think the teeth had something to do with it.

Talking about the great ice-dancing team of Torvill and Dean.

She said. "They did their routine to Bolero."
He heard. They did their routine to Bow and Arrow.

Discussing an American figure skater.

She said. "Her name is Ashley Wagner."
He heard. Her name is Action Wagner.

When answering a question of mine.

She said. "There's a basket on the couch."
He heard. There's a bastard on the couch.

I may not always hear Wanda but at least we're still talking.

As always, thanks for all your comments and support. I'm off to watch an Olympic hockey game. "See" you all next week.