I read it in the horoscope page. I was born on the Sagittarius Capricorn cusp. I refer to myself as a Sagicorn.
From now on, if I can remember, I am going to refer to Internet information as web.....damn, I forgot already.
I saw a piece, "10 Foods That Sound Healthy (but aren't)." The usual litany of bran muffins, prepared salads and sports drinks are listed. This gives Key Lime Pie a bad name.
What's next? Lemon Meringue breath freshener, cherry pie tic tacs? I love the "Try Me FREE." I wouldn't spray this in my mouth if they paid me.
It's good to know.
According to Monster.com you should never send a plant, flowers, or make a follow-up phone call as a thank you for a job interview.
Other things you shouldn't do:
Do not friend the interviewer on Facebook
Do not send a clever Tweet or Email
Never send a monthly fruit basket or cookie bouquet
Don't make a large sign and wait in front of the building at closing time.
Sending a basket of body lotion and bath soap is a little creepy
Don't send a selfi with HIRE ME written on your forehead (or anywhere else)
Don't send Jokes for the John, 400 Uses for Vinegar or book of any kind
Not everyone appreciates a stuffed bunny wipe for their computer screen
The interviewer may have an alcohol problem. A bottle of wine is not a good idea.
A YouTube link where you cry and beg will not work
If you want to impress and thank the interviewer you can't go wrong with a sock puppet.
In the news.
A group of French teenagers arrested for stealing a circus llama said they took the animal for a tram ride as a drunken prank. They initially planned to steal a zebra but found Serge the llama to be much friendlier.
One of the group said they planned to "show the llama the city" but once on the tram Serge got a little irritated. The tram security officer took Serge off at the next stop, tied him to a lamppost and called authorities.
The five teenagers were arrested but not jailed. They will pay a small fine, clean the llama pen for a month and watch "Madagascar" one dozen times. Authorities are undecided about Madagascar 2 and 3.
Canadian police said they seized 55 marijuana plants from a nursing home after a fire broke out in the building. The grow operation was the fire source.
The RCMP said they were alerted to the operation by firefighters who responded to the fire call at the Forever Young facility in St. John, New Brunswick.
Firefighters spotted the plants and alerted police who obtained a search warrant and seized the plants. Investigators said the plants were enough to roll about 275,000 joints.
No arrests were reported but the old folks are plenty pissed.
Karney Fitzpatrick, 76, said, "We weren't causing any trouble to anyone. All that bud was for our enjoyment. A little buzz made the food taste better, the time go faster and the sex last longer. We had enough weed for twenty years; especially at the rate we roll joints."
A Tennessee woman, Crystal Gray Brook, 33, was traveling with her boyfriend Santiago Mendez and one other person after a night of drinking. She asked him to stop at McDonald's. When he wouldn't she got upset and told him to get out of her truck.
Police say when Brook got behind the wheel she struck Mendez who was standing in front of the vehicle. The first hit knocked him down. Brook, apparently not satisfied, drove over him twice.
According to the police report, Mendez had cuts and bruises consistent with being hit by a vehicle
Still on site eating a Big Mac, Brook was taken into custody before she could finish her meal. She is charged with aggravated assault.
Be on the look out for a 6' 1" gorilla.
A Spokane Washington woman who wound up with a totaled car, a broken clavicle and a $550 ticket blames her crash on a person in a gorilla suit who she says jumped in front of her car.
Hailey Wottz said she had just dropped off a friend when she swerved to avoid the gorilla. She crashed into a parked car and a tree.
Witnesses claim the woman was speeding through the 25-mile-an-hour zone.
Wottz thinks she was right by swerving. And she says it would be nice if the gorilla came forward "so everything didn't fall on me."
"I have $175.00 and a bunch of organic bananas for the gorilla if he does help me out. Yes, I'm sure it was a male."
What do you mean we can't go to the game?
A Kansas City Chiefs fan said he swapped six game tickets for a wedding ring set he saw on Craigslist.
The ring owner was asking for four premium tickets and the ticket holder offered four for one game and two for another. They were able to work out a swap.
The rings are valued at $2800.00 and were originally given to "that bitch of a first wife so they meant nothing to me."
A nice way to start an engagement don't you think? Second hand rings for football tickets. The two men and the future wife will be sitting together for the Kansas City-San Diego game.
Mum's the word.
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