I like the parades and the pageantry. I enjoy watching football, even if the Detroit Lions find a way to lose, which they do with some consistency. I love the family gatherings. I'm just not sold on the turkey.
Close to 46 million turkeys will be consumed Thursday. That's about twenty percent of the entire year. I don't like the more fatty dark meat and I find the white meat, unless smothered in gravy, rather dry.
So, once a year we get together with friends and family to watch football while loved ones slave away in the kitchen for hours. Then, dinner is ready we sit, eat in twenty minutes, then go take a nap.
And, don't get me started on green bean casserole and creamed corn.
How about a new Thanksgiving tradition, meat loaf?
Speaking of eating, from Health.com Foods That Make You Feel Better.
To curb heartburn eat more grains and fiber. Replace refined grains, like white rice and pasta with their whole-wheat counterparts and it might help you survive the holidays reflux free. You can have the same reflux free life if you eat less, eat earlier and don't lie down soon after eating.
By the way, the American Family Association, an organization that promotes fundamentalist Christian values along with One Million Moms, the group that tried to get Ellen fired from her gig as a J.C. Penny spokesperson (they don't like gay people, in life or in comic books) have come out with their annual retail "Naughty and Nice" Christmas list.
Retailers that promote Christmas as in BUY OUR GOODS and HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS are listed as "For Christmas" and go on the good (or green) list. Retailers that simply say, HAPPY HOLIDAY'S are "Against Christmas" and go on bad (or red) list. There's even a "marginal" (or orange) list. Starbucks is on the marginal list. Probably because it sells a $20 cup that says HAPPY HOLIDAY'S but also a limited amount of "MERRY CHRISTMAS" coffee.
One of the "NAUGHTY" stores the Million Mom's want everyone to boycott is Victoria's Secret. As if any of those uptight bitches would shop there in the first place.
The top store on the "NICE" list is the AFA's own on-line store, of course.
Back to food.
To survive cold season eat tuna and halibut. You may survive the cold season but for how long? Every bluefin tuna tested in the waters off California has shown to be contaminated with radiation from the 2011 nuclear melt-through that occurred in Fukushima, Japan.
I don't know about you but there is nothing I like better than nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.
To sooth joint and muscle pains eat tart cherries. And where do tart cherries go? They go in tangy, juicy great big cherry pies. Eat the pie, improve those muscles and now walk three or four miles to work off the calories.
To fight a urinary tact infection drink parsley tea. I don't think so. Drink cranberry juice and call your doctor. Parsley tea? Sounds good, no?
Today is National Parfait Day which should make Donkey very happy.
From the movie "Shrek."
Donkey: "You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfaits.'"? Parfaits are delicious. Parfaits gotta be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet."
The French word for “perfect,” is the original French sundae made with a custard base ice cream flavored with fruit purée and whipped with a lot of air to a delicate texture. The ice cream was not scooped but pre-frozen in individual serving containers—typically the long, tapered “parfait glasses,” narrower versions of sundae dishes.
In America, a “parfait” became a particular type of sundae, with syrup and ice cream layered in a special glass, topped with whipped cream.
The French and their food, always so perfect. And they're thinking we don't know the difference between a parfait and a sundae.
In the news.
Russian police said a suspicious object that led to a bomb squad investigation near a military facility turned out to be an old refrigerator.
The bomb squad and sniffer dogs were dispatched to the site. Experts examined the suspicious object and identified it as an old fridge.
Once the brown meat, green cheese and lumpy milk were removed officers said it posed little danger.
A 101-year-old Russian man is using a frozen salmon to train for his part in the Olympic torch relay to Sochi for the Winter Games.
Alexander Kopteneko, 101, says he has been getting in shape for his leg of the relay by using a frozen humpback salmon as a stand-in for the Olympic flame.
He said, "A friend gave me four small dumbbells, half a kilo each, but they're hard to hold, while a fish, big and all, can be held by its tail." He has been doing roadwork carrying the 6.4 pound "torch" in preparation for his upcoming turn.
Despite his practice, Kopteneko was hoping the relay organizers would shorten his distance of the leg from the standard 200 meters (219 yards) down to 50 (54.6 yards).
He said, "After all, I am over 100-years-old. I'd like to have enough strength left to BBQ the fish."
Police in Florida are searching for a man who shoved thirteen bottles of liquor down his pants to steal them from a Costco store.
Police say two men entered the store around 8 p.m. and one of them was recorded by a security camera stuffing a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka and 12 bottles of Hennessy cognac into his sweatpants.
Only one bottle of vodka?
The men, who have not been identified, were seen leaving in a silver Chevrolet Impala.
You'd think the guy would have made some noise on his way out of the store. I can't get out of our Costco without submitting to a cart and body scan.
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