I thought about buying five tickets. Then I read they were $2 each. Ten bucks is too much to squander. A winning ticket sold in Lexington, South Carolina. Advertised as the $400 million Powerball Jackpot, the winning ticket is only worth $399.4 million. The cash payout only $233 million. Well that's a fine howdy-do. Think you have all that money and end up with a little over half.
I wonder how the 84-year-old lady in Florida is doing? Think she's burned through the $590 million that was only worth $278 million yet?
I love all the media people lined up across the street from the gas station that sold the winning ticket, before dawn. The service station is open 24 hours a day. Why are the there? Maybe to interview the owner or clerk who sold the ticket?
A news anchor sitting at a desk in a studio will lead off the piece. "And now we go to Donna Diserelli live at the Murphy Express gas station that sold the winning Powerball ticket.....Donna?"
"Yes Bill and thank you. I am across the street from the Murphy Express gas station that yesterday sold the winning ticket worth $400 million before taxes. The lump sum payout is worth $233 million to one lucky person. Earlier this morning I interviewed Mr.Balarama Dubashi who said, 'I just sell gas and coffee. The lottery ticket guy comes in at 11.'"
"Bill, I'll be here all day hoping to talk with the lottery guy. This is Donna Diserelli live at the Murphy Express in Lexington. Now, back to you."
We all get excited when the jackpot is large. It's fun to dream about what to do with the money. Like I said, I was thinking about spending a few dollars yesterday on tickets, I didn't. I didn't like the odds.
There is one important point about the top Powerball prize. The odds are 1 in 175,000,000. You are not going to win
It’s hard for people to grasp how small their chances actually are, since no one can really see 175 million of anything. Take 175 million one-dollar bills and lay them out. Pick one lucky dollar bill that will win you all $175 million. You can line up those dollar bills twice along the edges of the continental United States. Or you can cover 380 football fields. Imagine picking the one lucky dollar bill from those fields, and that’s your chance of winning the Powerball jackpot on a single ticket.
I'm never going to win, I don't buy tickets. Right about now a new dishwasher and a garage door opener would make me very happy.
There really is a glut of information out in cyberspace.
Glut, what a great word, it's so descriptive. It's a transitive verb (I can sound pretty friggin' smart in front of a computer): to fill especially with food to satiety (stuffed) or to flood the market with goods so that supply exceeds demand. It's also an intransitive verb: to eat gluttonously. It can also be used as a noun: Too much of something: a supply of something that is much more than needed or wanted.
I can also be pretty friggin' dumb in front of a computer. Verbs, nouns, whatever. It all sounds the same to me. The best thing about glut is what it rhymes with. But, butt, cut, hut, mutt, nut, rut, scut, shut, slut, smut, strut, tut, what. There's a whole lot going on with these words.
Now, back to the glut of information.
According to U.S. News & World Report: Foods That Causes Bloating.
1. Legumes: Beans, lentils and peas. Some of the sugars they contain are hard to break down and lead to bloating and gas. Wow, that's a shocker. All you need to do is watch the campfire screen in "Blazing Saddles." If legumes didn't make us fart there wouldn't be a product called BEANO.
2. Dairy products: This is one of the most helpful things I've ever read. If you have lactose intolerance-which means your body doesn't have the necessary enzymes to break down sugar-dairy products will trigger bloating. Is there some mystery about the word INTOLERANCE? Glad they explained it. And this is the suggestion to the problem, BUY LACTOSE FREE DAIRY, ingenious.
3. Asparagus, broccoli and cabbage: Asparagus makes "fairy dust" when I pee. Now I know it, along with broccoli and cabbage, contain raffinose a sugar that's fermented by methane producing bacteria in the large intestine. Methane equals bloating and gas. "Your body digests them better when they're cooked, not raw," says registered dietitian Stephanie Middleton.
Andi, a good friend, fellow cruiser and Nevada City group member has brought a couple of killer broccoli salads up to our gatherings. So, I have eaten raw broccoli. But asparagus and cabbage? Is that even possible?
"What's for dinner tonight?"...."Raw cabbage wedge garnished with asparagus spears? Sounds yummy. What kind of wine do we drink with that?"
4. Sugarless gum: What the Hell? Now sugarless gum is bad for us? The expert says sorbitol is a sugar alcohol known for causing bloating and other gastrointestinal distress. "Oh no, I just chewed some sugarless gum. Where's the closest men's room?" Stephanie also says other artificially sweetened foods and drinks can cause bloating as well."Try to stick to 2 or 3 servings of these a day. The digestive system doesn't love fake foods."
I'm just devastated now. I love "fake food" even if it tastes like cardboard or something the cat brought in.
5. Apples: Are they kidding? Apples? I have been eating an apple a day (I always clean the skin with vinegar and water) for years. Stephanie says, "Some people have trouble tolerating fructose, a sugar found in apples and other fruit. Plus, apples are high in fiber, which can contribute to a bloated feeling."
And it goes without saying (that's a stupid expression) frozen and processed food is loaded with sodium. Carbonated drinks will expand your G.I. tract. Bulky (glutinous) meals will cause problems so watch your portion control.
So there you have it, several foods that can cause bloating and gas. You may choose to avoid them or depending on your relationship, eat as many as possible every day of the year.
A side note here. Look for sugarless gum that contains Xylitol, Wanda recommends it. She isn't a real dentist but she does know her teeth.
Finding a nice place for a dinner date is getting more difficult every day.
I have mixed feelings about this next piece. At first glace I thought it was a guy and a girl. Now that I've read it, due to the "stunt," I don't like it much.
Two teens in London pulled out all the stops for a date night at Mickey D’s in Kingston, snazzying up their dining experience with a table cloth, flowered vase, electric tea lights, their own cutlery and wine glasses. The staff initially thought it was all in good fun, but then asked the guys to leave.
They refused to leave until they had finished their meal, but then a security guard was sent to remove them. Cameron and Adam have now been banned from that location. Meanwhile, turns out neither Cameron nor Adam are gay. According to them it was just a "stunt" but they don’t have a problem with homosexuality. So was McDonald’s problem with said stunt the fact that they had decorated their table or that they were two males feeding each other French fries?
This may be slightly different from my usual witty, funny and interesting prose.
Gay people have a difficult enough time with intolerance. Straight young kids aren't doing anyone favors with "stunts" in McDonald's.
And if the following is an accurate example of our gene pool, we are in a heap of trouble. Two comments about the story.
"I’m guessing a bunch of open flame candles on the tablecloth was part of the reason."
The candles were ELECTRIC, dolt
"As a manager of restaurants the only problem I would see is if they had brought in glassware that could break. Other than that I see absolutely no problem with what they’ve done. If the candles wasn’t really candles that would create no problem. There are some questions here, but until McD gives a reason for kicking them out, the only reason I could see is homophobia."
If the candles wasn't really candles that would create no problem.
What?
See you Monday.
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