Chuck's Ruminations: Records, Unlike Hearts, Are Made to Be Broken

According to an article in the June/July AARP magazine only 18% of current workers have a traditional pension plan. But, these four people are covered. The former CEO of Hewlett-Packard brings in $200,000 a year, a Senator from Maine receives $140,000, an ex-NFL player gets $93,840 and the retired Pope knocks down only $40,000. I always thought it was who you know that counts.

From The Xfinity Lifestyle section: Weirdest World Records of 2013

1. Most Golden Retrievers in One Place: 222
2. Largest Collection of Barbie Dolls: 15,000
3. Most Objects Juggled: 11
4. Highest Marriage Ceremony: 41,000 (in an airplane)
5. Longest Basketball Spin on a Toothbrush: 26 seconds, this one says he held the toothbrush in his teeth. I don't know if that was a qualifying criteria.

I think the author missed a few.

The Largest Collection of Gnomes and Pixies: 2,042 Ann Atkin lives with all her friends on 4 acres in the UK. Ann dresses like an elf and opens her property throughout the holiday season.

The Largest Collection of Air Sick Bags: 6,016 Niek Vermeulen of the Netherlands has been collecting bags since the 70's. He has collected bags from over 1,100 airlines in 60 different countries.

The Largest Rubber Duck Collection: Charlotte Lee of the US has been collecting ducks since 1996 and now has 5,631. All her ducks have names, and yes, there is a Donald and a Daisy. Because of size restraints Char hasn't taken a bath with the ducks but is considering a short swim in a local pool.

The Largest Collection of Used Cat Food Tins: Hezekiah Ziffel of Lyon, France has accumulated 42,629 various tins. He's been collecting since 1972. He attributes his collection to his long love affair with cats. "I couldn't bear to part with my kitty cats favorite food choices. Every tin reminds me of a loved one." He's currently using the tins for a "Wall of Remembrance" and expects to complete it by 2016.

The Largest Collection of Used Toilet Paper Cardboard Rolls: Wilson F. Wondermen has been collecting tubes for 21 years. He lives in California and has 15,330. This record should not be confused with the most UNused rolls.

The Largest Collection of Unused Toilet Paper Cardboard Rolls and The Largest Collection of Toilet Paper Not On a Roll: Tricia and Roger McNamara of Toronto, Canada. They have 11,330 cardboard rolls and 2,741,860 liner feet of toilet paper.

There has been some contention over the years as to these records. Section 1772.6 subset a-462 states: any paper roll that was actually used in a bathroom qualifies as "USED."

The Largest Collection of Used Tea Bags: Sarafina Ellison of Bremen, N.C. has amassed 86,695 over the course of her life. She is 81-years-old and attributes her good health to tea. At her interview she said, "I drink several cups a day and save the bags to use as mattress stuffing."

The Greatest Distance Traveled While Balancing Two Bowling Balls on the Head: This record belongs to Peter "Pete" Parmenter of Toledo, Ohio. Pete traveled (on foot) 5,320 feet, just over a mile.

The Most Tootsie-Roll Pops Held In The Mouth, Human: 17 by Jacob Jakaloni of Madrid, Spain. His preference is cherry but for this he used multi-colors. Jacob was able to maintain mouth possession of the 17 pops for 3 minutes and 17 seconds without drooling.

The Longest Distance Walking Backwards Down A Wooden Plank Singing "Henry The Eighth I Am" While Balancing Spoons On The Face: Ethan Thomas of Wales walked 21 meters, balanced 17 spoons, and sang 6 verses of the song. The record committee is breaking this into 3 separate qualifiers in 2015.