Since I had my doc appointment this morning I'm getting a very late start.
First I want to apologize for a few mistakes in yesterday's blog. My once upon a time editor can no longer devote the time and effort necessary to correct my errors. Wanda works for a living as you know. The guys at the S.F. PUC watch porn and gamble at work and she can't take a few hours for me?
The issue or problem is the first published blog goes out via e-mail so I can't make changes. The Facebook link I can alter. If you caught; of rather than off, their instead of they're, and they in place of the, sorry.
It was a quick appointment this morning. I had just enough time in the waiting room to find my bookmark. In the exam room we spent two minutes talking about me and eight about Disneyland. My doctor is a big fan and she wants to take her 5-year-old daughter this summer. I suggested she wait a year and go in the spring. I really like her. I'll fight with the insurance company next week.
I really need to become a tad more observant. It's one thing to consistently walk around with my fly wide open but not to notice the new paint on the house across the street is close to visual negligence. The fire house has been rebuilt over the last nine months. Yesterday Wanda walked in and said, "They painted the house across the street today." I was in and out of our place four times and didn't notice. I look and don't see, I hear but don't listen. I need to work on my communication skills.
WTF? Over the past few days I've read Alec Baldwin is going to be a dad at 57 and Steve Martin will be a first time father at 67. Obviously both these guys have much younger wives. Don't these men know they may never get to know their kids? It's not just the daddy's. The kids are probably going to miss out on paternal grandparents as well. The rich and famous do march to the beat of a different drummer.
Aw, sweetie, I know you miss your father. Let's sit down and watch "The Jerk" and "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid." Steaming Netflix, where old dead daddies live forever.
Since it's Valentines Day, here are suggestions for saving a few bucks and maximizing your romantic pleasure.
Cook a romantic meal at home. You can avoid the crowds, relax at home and still have a memorable Valentine's Day. Help each other in the kitchen and dress up the table with a centerpiece and some candles. If you both work and are pressed for time you can prepare the meal the day before and freeze or refrigerate it. Considering today is VD Day this suggestion isn't worth a damn so save it for next year. For today, order a pizza with extra cheesy bread sticks or a bucket of fried chicken. Nothing says loving like KFC and a couple sides.
Make a card or write a romantic letter. There are so many interesting things you can do with colored paper, a glue stick, and sharp scissors. Cut out hearts and stars or adorn the card with a paperclip chain. Remember a picture is worth a thousand words. Your man may enjoy a Victoria Secret model and how about Mark Wahlberg in his underpants for you.
Rather than the usual dinner and a movie, eat the pizza and fire up the DVD player. Your honey probably won't want to watch porno so get something romantic. I heard "Django" is a story about love in the old west. Maybe something like that?
Give your partner an IOU card. Good for a foot or back rub or a few chores around the house your mate dislikes. Ladies, you could take out the garbage for a few weeks. Men, you may want to clean the bathrooms. OK, maybe that's a bit much? Just try to put the toilet seat back down and stop pissing on the floor.
Go on a little trip just before Valentines Day. Again I'm a little too late with this one. Go ahead, plan something for 2014.
Here's a nice little inexpensive treat, go stargazing. All you need to do is get out of town a few miles, find an isolated stretch of road and pull off to look at the sky. If it's cold, either stay in the car or bring a blanket. If you're young enough to actually do this I doubt you'll be looking at stars. Remember, if you don't want to be changing diapers next Valentines Day, safety first.
Have a great day. Talk to you next Monday.
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