An SUV...A Car...and An Ambulance.

This morning I did thirty five minutes of step aerobics. The imp that lives inside the Wii said I need to improve my posture. I've lost a lot of weight while using it. Is it so hard to say something nice? A compliment once in a while would be appreciated. You catch more bugs with honey etc.

For those of you following the January medication situation, it's resolved. I still need to drive up to Safeway and get it. Several things could happen between now and then. My latte could tip over and spill 180 degree milk in my lap causing my crotch a great deal of discomfort. The car won't start. On my way to the bathroom I trip over my shoelaces and knock myself out. You never know? Don't count your chickens before they hatch, etc. etc.

I think I was off my game a little yesterday. We have been hit with a few unexpected expenses this month. I'm baffled by this as we both went to bed with money in our pockets New Years Eve. I'm not complaining, things happen. I just thought of Ethel Merman in the Mad, Mad, Mad movie. "The reason these things happen is because of people like you who say these things happen instead of doing something about it." 

I think it's important to consider all the consequences of the decisions we make. It's impossible to go back and change them.

Some news of the week. 

A Texas man devised a terrific scheme to help support his drug habit.

Police in Texas allege a man took a new sport utility vehicle for a test drive and traded it for drugs. He took a 2013 Chevrolet Tahoe on a test drive, leaving without the salesperson.

Two hours later he called the police and told officers he had become lost about 2 miles from the dealership and the vehicle had been stolen. However, police said they later pulled over a woman who told them the man had sold her the $40,075 Tahoe in exchange for two crack rocks.

The SUV was returned and the man is in jail. The woman said, "I didn't know the truck was stolen. I thought that big FOR SALE on the window was decoration. I should have known the deal was too good to be true."

The rocks were the size of beach balls?

When a foot is eleven inches. This is what Wanda refers to as 'blog fodder' and I'm thankful for it. Look for results on pizza circumference soon.

Restaurant chain Subway said this week its Footlong brand is the name of a sandwich line, not a guarantee each sandwich is a foot long.

"Subway Footlong is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length," a statement said.

An Australian teenager went online to state he had measured a sandwich he had purchased at Subway and found it to be 11 inches in length. A reporter with the New York Post confirmed the measurements. Not all N.Y. footlongs were a foot long.

Subway said it strives for a 12-inch bun but the vagaries of commercial baking make it difficult to guarantee the results 100 percent of the time.....Men, we always say something is bigger than it is!

You could have sent a text.....or a Tweet.

A 19-year-old woman was arrested after investigators determined she intentionally drove her vehicle through a home after arguing with someone inside. About $100,000 worth of damage was caused to the home, no injuries were reported. She fled the scene but was found a block from the crash. Charged with criminal damage she faces up to three years in prison. She was released after posting $7,500 bond.....She was overheard saying. "If I can just get my car out of the bedroom I am so out of here."

The argument started when two friends disagreed on who was hotter, Justin Bieber or Taylor Lautner.

Subtlety.....is not his strong suit.

A first-responder crew on an emergency call heard beeping coming from their ambulance, indicating it was backing up. They ran outside and saw the ambulance driving off.

Police were alerted and the emergency vehicle was spotted soon after. After a six-block chase, the unauthorized ambulance driver pulled over and was arrested.

The 51-year-old suspect, "was intoxicated and made some statement about being cold," an officer said.

He faces charges of theft of the ambulance and driving under the influence of alcohol. There also was an outstanding warrant for his arrest for escape and he was listed as a missing person in Fort Collins, Colorado.

The 83-year-old woman who was receiving treatment in the home said. "This was so exciting, I thought I'd have a heart attack.....oh, I did have a heart attack? Shit, it's always something. How am I doing now?"

Talk to you tomorrow.