At Times, It Isn't Easy Being Me....

.....Or My Olympics Morning.

I'm taking a day off from THE Olympics. Today I will write about my Olympic events.

The Wii-Fit Aerobic Workout.

Points are awarded for: The number of consecutive minutes without falling off the step board. 

This morning I did 35 minutes before I stubbed my toe and missed a step.

The Mr. Coffee Latte Maker.

Points are awarded for: Brewing espresso and steaming milk without spillage.

This morning, as usual, I spilled milk, Splenda, and fine ground coffee.

The shower and shave.

Points are awarded for: An under 3 minute shower getting all the good parts and a shave without spilling blood.

I received zero points.

The Safeway sprint.

Points are awarded for getting everything on the list, for checking the receipt, and for buying all goods with an expiration date at least 10 days in the future. Points are deducted for buying chips, cookies, cake, pie, or ice cream. And points are deducted for every minute over 30 spent shopping. Drive time allows 10 minutes total.

What a delightful morning.

I vacillated over going to Safeway. I went back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Eventually the forth won. I made the latte and took the shower with determination and conviction. I was going to the store.

I have three categories for my tee shirts. One, new shirts that have been worn from a few times to never. Two, shirts that have been worn a number of times but still look good. Three, shirts with brands, logos, advertising, and food and/or drink stains. These I only wear around the house.

I was ready to go. I checked the alarm and all systems were green. I took a look in the mirror making sure I had a decent t-shirt on. I had my list, cell phone, sunglasses, car keys, and travelers mug with my latte'. I set the alarm and walked out of the house. Just as I reached the car I took a slug of coffee. As I took the cup from my mouth I got the "I think I just spilled because a spot on my chest is hot and wet feeling."

Ah Hell, did I just spill coffee? Looking in the visor mirror I saw a spot the size of a dime and the color of coffee on the pocket of my white shirt. 

Damn it! I tried to rub it out with spit but since I was drinking coffee that didn't work. I did manage to lighten the color some but now had a spot the size of a quarter. Ah-ha....I had a half full plastic bottle of water in the car. I could use the water from that to clean off the spot on the pocket of my white shirt.

I picked up the water bottle and unscrewed the top. I took care to press the bottle opening over the shirt stain and dumped almost all of the water down my chest and onto my lap. The water, by the way, was from a bottle that I almost stepped on the other day. I picked it up and tossed it in the car. Now, wet with water from an  unknown source I was sure I had hepatitis, or was exposed to it. So, I went back in the house and took another shower. 

After changing into a dark grey shirt, once again I gathered all my accoutrement's, set the alarm, locked the house, got in the car and drove to Safeway. I did my shopping spending $16.40 for $26.31 worth of goods. Long ago I learned to check expiration dates when shopping and check the receipt before leaving the store. I almost always do this and thought I did it today.

I drove the mile home and while I was unloading my goods noticed I was charged 5 bucks......well, it's 4.99 in grocery speak, for a pint of blueberries. Double damn it! It was the last item on the receipt and I missed it. There was a big yellow sign in the store....BLUEBERRIES, BUY ONE GET ONE FREE, $4.99. And in small letters, non member 5 each and club card member 2.50.

I'm now very comfortable. I have my second cup of coffee. All the windows and doors are open. I really, really, really, really do not want to go back to the store. But, it's not only the $2.50 but the principal of the thing. What's right is right.....right?

So, I closed the windows and doors, got all my things together, again. I grabbed the berries and receipt, set the alarm, and drove the mile back to Safeway. The fellow who checked me out was at his register doing paper work. No one is on line waiting.

"Hi, excuse me, I say. I have a question for you. He looks up from  his paperwork. The sign on the blueberries reads Buy One Get One Free $4.99." And I tell him about the non member price and what I thought was the member $2.50 price etc. etc. and I add, "I got one pint and was charged $4.99, shouldn't it be $2.50?" Now get this.

He tells me....."When it is a buy one get one free, that's BOGO, THEY want you to get two so you'll spend more money".....which made little or no sense to me, spend more money? So I asked, "I got one and was charged $4.99, how much would I have been charged for two pints?" And he said, "$4.99."

Let me think about this for a minute. Do I want one pint of berries for $4.99, or TWO PINTS OF BERRIES FOR $4.99?

And I told the nice man to take back the pint and credit my account, then I would get two pints and check out. Rather than do that he said (and this surprised me) "go grab another pint of berries and I'll take care of it to, keep the record straight and the bosses happy."

There is a life lesson here somewhere but I'll be damned if I know it. Maybe a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? Or, for $4.99, two pints of blueberries is better than one!