Hi Family,
I have been trying to get this together for about three hours now.
I just signed on and had mail from Donna, Paula, and Lynne. Everyone else please excuse me while I answer them. OK, would love to, and sorry. I think I have that in the correct order. If not, could you please talk amongst yourselves and get things right.
Yesterday late afternoon Fred started having some anxiety about me leaving him here alone. Taking every thing he has been through it's not shocking. You all know a hospital is the last place you can get rest. This Sunday will be a month he has been dealing with this. The doc did order clear liquids beginning with lunch yesterday. For that lunch he had, chicken consume, cranberry juice, and a small soda. Dinner was chicken consume, apple juice, and strawberry jello. This morning breakfast was chicken bullion, apple juice, orange jello, and black coffee. I can't wait for lunch. This diet alone ought to motivate him to get out of here. He has been drinking about 20% of this stuff and a few bites of the jello.
Getting back to last night. We had a long talk about what he was feeling. A good portion of this is the discontinuation of the pain medication he was on. When we feel anxious, or depressed, or in pain our brain secrets endorphins. These things run around and find parking spaces which then make us feel better. The pain meds do basically the same thing, they find those parking spaces and they park. SO, all the spaces are taken and the natural endorphins have no place to go. It doesn't take long until they shut down and go on vacation. Fred's endorphins didn't go to Cincinnati, they went to London. It's going to take a few days for his natural endorphins to get home and for his brain to start producing new ones. Another word for all of this is "withdrawl." He feels lousy, and depressed, weak, and a little confused. He will get over this, it's just going to take a few days.
He has also been in control of his life for so long and now he feels he isn't in control of anything.
I have been talking with all the nurses and staff that take care of him. I think it helps if they understand a little more of his back ground.
I just got off the phone with Tammy, his office manager. She has been with Fred for fifteen years now (she deserves a medal) and is trying to operate the practice, as best she can. She needs to make some decisions and is concerned about doing the "wrong thing." This is very difficult for her too.
I have been eating lots of Michigan Honey Crisp apples and drinking lots of coffee. I'm OK, but a little tired. I may have mentioned my flight home is late Monday. I need to talk to him today about staying another week. I think I could do that if he fees he needs me. I know Wanda wouldn't mind having the TV remote to her self another week. We'll try and make that decision today and I'll let you all know. These little news flashes really help me pass some time. When they were working with Fred a while ago I went down to the cafeteria for lunch. I don't know what possessed me to order a grilled cheese sandwich, on wheat, and french fries. They gave me half a roasting pan of the fries and a soggy, mushy roof shingle.The lunch found it's way to the garbage can without having to pass through me first. Later I will go down and get a Michigan Honey Crisp apple and a Starbucks.
In closing, Donna and Lynne, please try and call again. If I'm here I can grab it on the first or second ring. Paula, I see you all the time on Face Book but it would be nice if we got together. If I am here another week maybe we can work something out. Also,everyone remember I have that cell phone now 925 642-3894. As long as he is in ICU or the step down I turn it off but there is voice mail, so leave a message, I check when I go downstairs.
I really do think he is improving. He's just really, really pooped.
love to you all, Chuck
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